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I don't understand, but I want to move on

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  • #203695
    Eve
    Participant

    Holding back anger only hurts you. Forgive yourself for being the one been cheated on and dumped. It’s not your fault.

    You can never force or convince a person not to leave. You only have control on your mind and action.

     

    #203723
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Alex:

    You wrote: “I do not understand why he cheated on me with her and how they are together is bugging me but I am still holding my anger and hurt and do not want to anymore”-

    Reads to me that you think it will help you resolve your hurt and anger if you understood why and what happened, correct?

    But he won’t tell you and neither is his now girlfriend (“I see them in public but they run away from me”). Without their help, it may help to consider possibilities for the Why that you are seeking.

    His mother left him, you wrote, and it affected him significantly, feeling angry about her leaving, moving away. Maybe he has been since motivated to get her back, symbolically so, by pursuing unavailable women, first the girl who was not interested in him and then the cheerleader who had a boyfriend.

    On the other hand, because you were available to him, he was no longer interested.

    Can it be the case?

    anita

    #203745
    Inky
    Participant

    Hi Alex,

    Yesterday they were in high school and today they are engaged. What are they, nineteen? I guarantee the marriage wouldn’t work out. They are too young. Don’t be jealous of a doomed union. He couldn’t even handle being a good high school boyfriend, how would he be a good husband? By repeating history? By trying to have an affair with a single girl who doesn’t want him while having an actual one with a married woman?

    You dodged a bullet, Alex! Celebrate!

    Inky

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