Hello,

I am new to this type of thing and didn’t know where else to go. This is really pathetic of me but in high school I was dating a guy and he was my “first love”, I was a sophomore and he was a junior. Things were great the first 6 months and then things got rocky once his mom moved away and it seemed like he took his anger out on me. Okay that part wasn’t great but we were still together but he was hard to get to open up when all I wanted was to be not only his girlfriend but his best friend. He didn’t make that easy. Things were getting worse when I realized there was another in my grade that he had the biggest crush on (before dating me) and they were friends and I would allow them to hang out because I didn’t want to be controlling. At one point I asked him to stop texting her and seeing her because I was jealous and was hurt he didn’t seem as interested with me as he did her. They never dated because she never saw him that way which actually hurt him. Okay well that was one issue but the next issue was another girl his senior year. At our school they allowed the senior cheerleaders to pick their football players to specifically cheer on, decorate their lockers, give them treats..stuff like that. My boyfriends cheerleader had a big crush on him  (I found this out later). Well obviously they started texting more and getting closer, she also had a boyfriend at the time and what not. Fast forward a little bit he dumped me over text but wouldn’t tell me it was because of her and he tried telling me he was upset too blah blah blah, he hung out with her and got coffee and little stuff while him and I were still trying to work things out that he would go to her house after just being at mine. Fast forward to February and we broke up for good and him and her were walking the hallways at school, hanging out, all that stuff while she still had a boyfriend too. Although during all this my now ex was keeping in contact with me and I later realized it was because when she wasn’t giving him attention he wanted mine (playing mind games with me). Even when they graduated him and I were still acting as a couple but didn’t have the title. Fast forward to May and I knew he was acting strange but he wouldn’t tell me why he cut communication and why he was being short so I drove by his house to find her car there. That was the last straw for me, I packed everything of his I had, and dropped it off on his front porch and he blocked me on facebook since. I found out from the first girl, that the summer my ex and his the cheerleader were talking that in that time my ex was still trying to pursue the first girl, and his cheerleader was also texting her ex wanting him back and tried so many times to communicate with him, she was still trying to communicate with her ex in the first few months in the relationship. My ex and the girl he cheated on me with (his cheerleader) started dating 17 days after that and have been together since that now they are engaged. Now my issue is, I never got closer of the situation. I never got to tell him how hurt I was, or my true thoughts or anything. I do not understand again how these two are together or why they are even together because I thought karma would visit them by now. My bigger issue is that how do I fully move on? How do I let myself let go of the hurt and the anger. Sometimes I really wish I could say something when I see them in public but they run away from me. I know checking their social media isn’t good so I’m trying to quit doing that but because I do not understand why he cheated on me with her and how they are together is bugging me but I am still holding my anger and hurt and do not want to anymore. So how do I let that go and just in a way anything they do as “okay, good for them”. Also, is there anyway maybe I could have hurt him or done anything wrong in the situation?

If someone read that whole thing I really appreciate it.