Dear Hang:

You got upset when he told you he wants to meet you for fun, while he has another girlfriend, because this is not what you want. You want him to be serious about you (to “seriously…start again with me but until now he told me he thought I knew that we couldn’t be anything serious.”)

You asked: “What does this (his offer to see you for fun while he has a girlfriend)  mean? Does he love her or not?”-

It means that he doesn’t respect you and he doesn’t respect her. If a person does not respect another, that person is not loving of that person. And so… he loves you not and he loves her not.

If you agree, what do you think you should do/ say to him?

anita

Hi Hang:

It looks like you got some great answers, but just wanted to add my 2 cents. If you don’t love him, is there any particular reason you want him back? Write down on a piece of paper the pros and cons of what he have you in the relationship and why you are now better off without him. Let’s say, you did get back together with him..it’s very hard to rekindle the flames you had before..then you will wander, why you took him back and be more miserable..and it will take you that much longer to get over him.

We always want what we can’t have. Do you just want him back, because you are lonely when you see him happy with this new girl? Try to have a clean break with him..and please don’t go on his Facebook profile, Twitter, etc, it will only make you more upset..don’t answer his calls..don’t go where he hangs out..change your number if you have to. Get rid of all reminders of him..you don’t have to throw it away, just put it in a box under the bed where you can’t see them.

Try to keep busy, so you are not thinking about him so much. Be happy with yourself and your life, and then the right man will see you as a happy strong independent woman and gravitate toward you. Men don’t like women checking up in them..drama, intensity, jealousy..so work out any issues of you have these so you can have a happy and healthy relationship with a man who is emotionally available and wants to commit to you.

Dear Hang:

It feels good to be secure in your own love for him: feels warm and comfortable, doesn’t it?

Thing is, if you want a loving relationship, it would take you and a man loving each other. Loving a man from afar, no matter what, is comforting at times, but there is no progress in it. There is nothing that is going on, life advancing or developing. All you have is a feeling and day-dreaming.

anita