I don't know what to do

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This topic has 7 replies, 5 voices, and was last updated 9 years, 10 months ago by way finder.

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May 14, 2015 at 11:23 pm #76836

way finder
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I’ve been on depression and it has been going on for almost 4 years. My family and I sought professional help and I’m almost out. I’ve been taking medication for months now. My doctor approved of me getting a job. I’m about to seek employment. It pays low but I want to start again so I’m just gonna live simply and make my finances work. My family will help subsidize some of my expenses as I move out to a new city to work as an employee.

In between my dark days, a friend found me and helped me out. We don’t communicate directly but he tweets encouraging posts that I assumed were related to me. We talked over Pinterest too using code names, not our real names. So I assumed it was him and that we have an understanding. Before my depression, I already liked him. During my recovery, he was there though it was just my assumption. I went out for runs and he’d accompany me without me knowing. I figured he liked me during my recovery but that was just again my assumption based on back reading all of his tweets. I thought all was good between us and that he’s just waiting until I could really get a job. However, last night he went out on a double date and publicly posted it on FB. I have feelings for him and I know I just assumed. What should I do?

May 15, 2015 at 4:55 am #76837

Veena
Participant

You have not mentioned your gender ?

May 15, 2015 at 4:56 am #76838
Inky
Participant
Hi wayfinder,

Ugh, this is why I hate FaceBook. Like, IRL, in the old days, you would never go on a double date and then proceed to call 100 of your closest friends and tell them about it. I think it should be used for Private Messaging, saying “Happy Birthday” and to tell everyone about something that matters (moving, job change, engagement, etc.). But no matter what you post, someone’s going to be unhappy. This time it’s you. (I hate when it’s me getting upset over a FB post!!).

What I would do is “Hide” him on social media and take what he posts/says at face value. If he doesn’t say, “I like you” and writes “Hang in there!” assume he really means “Hang in there!”

He might also still look at you as a wounded bird of sorts. Maybe a “Thanks for all your help! I’m fine now, but thanks!” Show him an independent streak, or shoo him away a little.

OK, Good Luck!

Inky
- This reply was modified 9 years, 10 months ago by Inky.
May 15, 2015 at 7:04 am #76840

Will
Participant

“I went out for runs and he’d accompany me without me knowing.”

How… how does that work? I’m really confused about the situation you’re describing.

As for what you should do, not make so many assumptions and communicate directly. I’m sorry. I fully understand if that doesn’t feel safe right now. But if you want clarity on where you are with this guy, you’ll have to ask.

Congratulations on climbing out of your depression. I hope your recovery continues and your life will be beautiful from now on. Be well.

Aside to Veena: How does this person’s gender make a difference?

May 16, 2015 at 5:30 am #76854

way finder
Participant

Veena, I’m a female.

Inky, I won’t “hide” him at the moment. I’m hoping to have more clarity by lurking on his accounts.

Will, I’d go out for runs and I know he watches over me and hides somewhere. There would be clues because my ordinary runs become all of a sudden different. Like people wearing statement shirts. I followed your advice. I sent a direct message via Facebook. I told him my feelings for him and asked him straight as to whether we are over or not. As of the moment, I’m waiting for his response to my almost-out-of-this-world-confession. This could finally put us on a clear track or so I hope.

Thank you for making the time to help me out.

May 16, 2015 at 7:32 am #76860
PathOfPeace
Participant
Wayfinder, either your posts arent worded right or something is…..off. ” I’d go out for runs and I know he watches over me and hides somewhere. There would be clues because my ordinary runs become all of a sudden different. Like people wearing statement shirts” What?!

Have you ever met this person or only know them through fb or online?
- This reply was modified 9 years, 10 months ago by PathOfPeace.
May 16, 2015 at 9:09 am #76871

Inky
Participant

Yeah, I didn’t want to say anything, but I was reminded of a distant relative who thought that the Republican party bugged her house.

(O_o);

May 17, 2015 at 12:01 am #76879

way finder
Participant

He was a classmate from college. It’s ok guys. I think his message for me is to hang in here cause he’s still there. One clue I know for sure is that I am his twitter cover photo. He took it down and change it to my fave color which alarmed me because my picture was gone and girls might get the message that we are over. He put it back and so I’m at ease now that he wants me to wait patiently for him. He’s just making sure I’m well-adjusted since I moved to a new city and starting a new job. I’m might get overwhelmed if he enters my life now that all is new to me.

Our love story came as a surprise to me at probably my lowest point. My assumptions are not just assumptions, their intuition. And our love story, is just beginning. It might not be clear to me now but I would definitely write it to inspire others once it’s all clear to me.

And don’t worry, I still have my wits with me. I’m seeing a professional and drinking my medication religiously.

Namaste brothers and sisters. Peace, love and positivity. Just because the story is unconventional doesn’t mean it’s impossible. Happiness to us all. 🙂
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