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I don't know the purpose of my life

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  • #229655
    Connie
    Participant

    Well… I think I know but still feel a bit lost here.

    I am a single woman in mid-30s. I live in a foreign country for many years. I came here in the beginning as an international student and found a job after completing my program and have been working and living here since. I guess this is where I call home now since most of my career/social life/friends/networks are here. My families are all on the other side of the Pacific ocean.

    I went through a terrible breakup a while ago and have never been ready to seriously date anyone ever since. Most of my friends are either in a serious relationship or starting their own families. I enjoyed my single life and focused on improving myself and I do feel I am now more mature than before. I have my own career. I have hobbies and things to do in my spare time. I have tons of friends to talk/hang out with. I help take care of my friend’s dog. I enjoy spending time with myself, too.  But recently the feeling of loneliness hit me so hard that I start to question my purpose of being. I don’t know why I am here. My friends suggest I should start dating again but I seem to lose the ability to love or even have the romantic feelings for anyone. I don’t even have the motivation to go on dates.

    I am afraid this is how my life will always be until I die. I wonder if anyone has ever been through that I am going through now. Any advice will be helpful for me.

    Thanks!

    #229795
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Connie:

    You wrote: “My friends suggest I should start dating again but I seem to lose my ability to love or even have the romantic feelings for anyone. I don’t even have the motivation to go on dates”- considering that relationship you had, no wonder.

    What if you give up on the love and romantic motivation for dating, and adapt a different motivation: to get to know a decent man, to learn who a man is and only if he is a decent, honest, kind man, then consider romance and love. But for now, aim at dating as an opportunity to learn and get to know this or that men. What do you think?

    anita

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