I need help. This is a bit long but please,, I really need advice. My boyfriend broke up with me on the 16th of June, 2017 because we hadn’t spent much time together since we’re long distance and we have school and I have a job. We’re both very young but I do love him a lot. We’re only in high school but people say they could see us getting married and I believe it. He proposed a few months ago and made me the ring. But anyways, so he broke up with me on the 16th and that night, I went to a friends house to calm myself down and distract myself. He’s very against drugs, alcohol, “society”, and makeup because companies do put chemicals in it to make your skin worse so you’ll buy it. I’ve never been a fan of makeup but I’ll wear it if I want. The day we broke up he said it was best for both of us since next year at school we would have almost no time together and he felt weak. I was heartbroken and when I went to my friends house, I played with her kittens and she did my makeup because she’s super talented at doing makeup and always wanted to. So being angry and sad, I posted some pictures of myself with it on, knowing that he would see them and hoping he would too. He broke up with me so I wanted him to see what he was missing because of how sad I was. I woke up the next morning and at around 11 I get 2 long texts saying he wants me back and he regretted his decision immediately. My friend told me he’s immature and to not take him back but I felt in my heart that I still loved him and wanted to keep our relationship. So that next night, we got back together. Obviously I’m not going to feel 100% happy the next day after what had just happened, but he feels like he ruined everything and that it’s not going to be the same. He also accused me of throwing away my morals for putting makeup on and compared it to letting someone put a cigarette in my mouth. I yelled at him because it frustrated him and he wanted to end it again. Saying we promised we’d never scream at each other and when i tried to take it back he said that he tried to take what he did back and I ended up screaming at him. So he ended it again. About 30 minutes later he texts me and I call him back saying he has to decide if he wants this. I went to work to gave him time to think and he said he realized that I really am the only girl for him. A few days go by and I’m feeling pretty good. Even a few days ago I felt like our relationship was getting a jumpstart like it was when we first met.

We started dating in August of last year and in October we started sleeping on the call so we could wake up together. after we broke up I decided we should slow down and keep distance for a bit. He always mentioned how it made his neck hurt but he never did up until we started distancing a little while ago before he dumped me. He even gave the idea of wanting to skype every day right after school. Now he decided that he wants to be able to have time to go outside and when I proposed the idea of sleeping on the call again, he said it hurt his neck too much even though he said it was worth it last night. I feel like he just doesn’t want to be with me as much. Like something is off. He’ll be super amazing one moment and then when I say I love you he’ll say it back and go back to playing games while we skype which never used to happen. When he played games he would even stop sometimes and look at me for a minutes when we said we loved each other. It just feels different. I don’t know if I want something else or we just need to talk or something but at the same time, I feel like if I say something, it might come out wrong and mess things up. I love him so much but I don’t know if long distance is worth it. I don’t even know if I wanna marry him anymore. I don’t know what happened. We promised so many times we wouldn’t break up but he did without warning. I had no say in it both times when it happened and I even begged him not to when it did. It’s been on my mind so much and I don’t know if I love him, or the feeling of having someone. We have the same humor but at the same time, it feels like it’s not as much in common as it used to be. Small things just don’t spark as much as they used to and maybe it’s in my head but I’ve been crying all night because of it. Please help. I’m sorry for the length but I had to vent.