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I am jelous of my boyfriends happiness and succes, and it makes me feel horrible

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  • May 15, 2017 at 9:21 pm #149583
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear rosaly:

    As I read your account of your boyfriend’s life I felt jealous myself! Please, do not be ashamed of what you think and what you feel. Thoughts and feelings are automatic mental events: we don’t choose them, therefore they are not good or bad and we are not good or bad people for thinking and feeling them.

    I understand you feeling jealous of him: you are experience such lack of parental support, money, etc., and he is experiences plenty of parental support, money, etc.

    Would you like to share: how long has he been your boyfriend, how often do you see him, how do you spend your time together and have you talked about a future together, of plans for the future?

    anita

    May 16, 2017 at 5:01 am #149621
    Inky
    Participant

    Hi rosaly,

    Is it possible you view your boyfriend more as a “friend” or “sibling” on some level? Like, if it were me, I’d be tempted to think, “My boyfriend really had a lucky beginning. Maybe if it works out he’ll be my husband one day and this too can all be mine!” LOL

    Not that I have a gold digger mentality, but that would come to me before jealousy.

    But I DO understand the longing and the regret!!

    Unfortunately, in this world it is leaning back to how much money your family has and how supported you are rather than how hard you work.

    I would suggest pet sitting to supplement your income and to try socking away money in savings and investments. I know it doesn’t seem possible right now, but you will thank yourself later! Is it also possible for you to live with your boyfriend or get roommates? Or go to his supportive parents for financial advice or other advice? I have a feeling that once you are helped, even a little, you will soar!

    Blessings,

    Inky

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