Home→Forums→Relationships→How to write a message to any of your in-law to bring her into your comfort zon
- This topic has 21 replies, 2 voices, and was last updated 8 months, 3 weeks ago by anita.
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March 9, 2024 at 5:34 pm #428531ThonditParticipant
Dear Anita,
Yes I got your message from my previous threads. Thank you so much.
Alright. I will be glad if you go thro it on Sunday.
Regards.
Greg.
March 9, 2024 at 5:41 pm #428532anitaParticipantDear Greg: I am pleased that you received my earlier message! I’ll be back to you Sun morning (itis Sat evening here).
anita
March 10, 2024 at 10:50 am #428544anitaParticipantDear Gregory:
You copied and pasted what seems like a very impressive, organized and thorough medical research proposal that your wife produced, aimed at investigating (for the purpose of early detection and prevention and improved prenatal care) pre-eclampsia under the age of 25, in a government health center in Kenya (Thika Level 5). Pre-eclampsia is a global medical condition of high blood pressure (hypertension) during pregnancy and often involves signs of liver and kidney damage. The risk factors are: 1st pregnancy, a twin/ triplets pregnancy, a mother younger than 20 or older than 40, obesity pre-existing hypertension or diabetes, and a history of pre-eclampsia in previous pregnancies.
Pre-eclampsia symptoms are: high blood pressure, proteinuria (the presence of excess protein in the urine), edema (swelling, particularly in the hands and face, headaches, visual disturbances (blurred vision, sensitivity to light, etc.), and abdominal pain. Not all pre-eclampsia patients experience all of these symptoms, and the severity of distressing symptoms among patients varies widely.
The proposal’s “Data Collection Procedures” section includes surveying pregnant women during their routine prenatal visits, asking and recording information about their demographics (age, marital status, religion, monthly house income), medical history (including what symptoms, if any, they are experiencing) lifestyle factors, awareness of pre-eclampsia etc., and , entering the information into statistical software for analysis.
Gregory, this is a very impressive paper (for a layperson, such as myself) and it’s for a good cause, I am impressed!
anita
March 10, 2024 at 12:33 pm #428551ThonditParticipantDear Anita,
Thank you so much for reading this research and I want to let me know if the research is absolutely super.
However, if you have an ideas too on this research feel free to add. I really don’t know what I can do for you.
But the truth is Anita you are an amazing person.
Regards.
Greg.
March 10, 2024 at 6:27 pm #428561anitaParticipantDear Gregory:
You are very welcome. I’ll reply further to you tomorrow!
anita
March 10, 2024 at 11:13 pm #428565ThonditParticipantDear Anita,
How are you doing. Hope you are keeping well.
Much that you are ever preoccupied on so many things a part you will still tried your very best to respond on the topic that requires your attention. Congratulation and may God blessed you abundantly.
Regards.
Gregory
March 11, 2024 at 9:40 am #428578anitaParticipantDear Gregory:
Thank you for your kind words! You asked how I am doing: well, in the last couple of nights I slept very, very little ad I am very, very tired.
“I really don’t know what I can do for you“- Maybe you can help me by praying that I sleep better..?
“However, if you have an ideas too on this research feel free to add“- during the long, long hours of being awake at night I thought about what I could add to the impressive and thorough research proposal you presented here, and I came up with something that I would add, if I had a part in putting this proposal together. I will develop the idea in this post, but first, I want to clarify that in the following, when I refer to a growing fetus (the unborn) as “something” or a “thing”, I understand that it may offend some people, but if I don’t use these, I wouldn’t be able to explain myself adequately:
Years ago, it occurred to me that if I had something growing inside my belly, something that’s expected to continue to grow for months, I would feel claustrophobic, as in urgently wanting this thing out of me, as soon as possible. This feeling is connected to how uncomfortable I’ve been since I remember myself when I eat too much and/ or my belly is big because of bloating. This intense sensitivity is connected to anxiety and what is called body vigilance: paying too much attention to sensations in the body and feeling distressed over them.
Continuing the thoughts above: if I had something growing in my body, and I would know that it will keep growing for months, and then, in its biggest form, it will have to come out of my body in what women (who gave birth) refer to as the most physically painful experience in their lives, I would be in panic and want that thing out of me.. as soon as possible.
Think if it happened to you, Gregory.. (in your male form), how would you feel…
I didn’t research the topic, and didn’t read about it anywhere: these are my personal thoughts, but I have no doubt that there are other women in the world who think and feel similarly on this topic.
The research proposal paper says about pre-eclampsia: “It typically manifests after 20 weeks of gestation“- at 20 weeks, the developing fetus is big enough to trigger the panic I mentioned, in women inclined to panic.
“Various risk factors contribute to the development of pre-eclampsia, including a first pregnancy, multiple pregnancies (e.g., twins or triplets)“- it makes sense that women inclined to panic when pregnant, will panic the first time they are pregnant, and more so, if they have not only one “thing” growing inside them (and having to come out of them painfully), but two, or three.
“Globally, pre-eclampsia affects approximately 5-8% of pregnancies“- I am guessing that of the 5-8% of pre-eclampsia pregnancies (and it is only a guess), 2-3% of the pregnant women experience the panic I am referring to in this post.
The distressing symptoms of pre-eclampsia themselves can trigger panic/ elevated anxiety, but what I am suggesting in this post (and I am not a doctor or ay kind of a health professional!) is that in the case of some pregnant women, their thoughts, perceptions and feelings about being pregnant, by themselves, over time, may lead to the physical symptoms of pre-eclampsia. I believe that it is known that elevated, ongoing anxiety involves an over secretion of stress hormones into the blood, and those hormones can damage blood vessels and organs.
Therefore, in the “Data Collection Procedures” section that includes surveying pregnant women, I would add open-ended (non-leading) questions in regard to the pregnant woman’s feelings and perceptions about her body (see body vigilance), and particularly about her pregnancy, questions such as:(1) After a big meal, do you physically feel comfortable or uncomfortable? (2) Is it physically comfortable or uncomfortable for you to be pregnant? (2) If this is your first pregnancy, what did the women in your family who gave birth, tell you about the experience of giving birth?.
Depending on their answers, if there is evidence of elevated anxiety of the kind I mentioned above, more questions can be asked during a 2nd or 3rd survey. The information collected can be the basis for mental help and support (individual therapy/ group therapy) designed for this group of pregnant women.
* I am guessing that many women would resist admitting such feelings in regard to carrying their unborn babies, feeling ashamed of their feelings.. like they are abnormal and bad women and future mothers for feeling what they feel. This very shame can lead to anxiety on top of the anxiety they already feel. Therefore, attention should be paid by professionals to making women comfortable (not feeling abnormal or bizarre) with their feelings and take it from there.
anita
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