Dear Harshita,

There are a lot of things I want to tell you but I don’t know how to put them in words here. As you wisely said, “whatever will happen, it will be in my benefit”, I totally agree with it. My experiences have taught me we as a human are very curious creature. We always long to find the reason behind why certain things happened in our life especially if the incident is a significant one. What we need to acknowledge is we are not  above the universe, we cannot defeat or deny it. The universe works miraculously in its own pace. We might find the answers we are seeking at the moment, many years later. We just have to have patience. Whatever events that occur in our life only enrich our ability or shape us to be a better version of our self. So instead of being sad or spending your time looking for answers, change your perspective and try to understand what lesson certain events have taught you. For example, in your case, you have realized that your heart is so big and full of love that you could love someone so much despite of the fact that the person could not reciprocate it. Feel lucky that you have a heart that loves unconditionally and you have a soul that feels. Its a blessing to be full of love in this generation. Secondly, you are saying that your friend keeps messaging you. You have to understand that some people might show how confident and self sufficient they are from outside, but deep inside they lack self admiration and self love. The guy himself might be dealing with low self esteem, and the attention and care you are giving him is making him feel worthy and powerful. When he is constantly getting it he feels good and strong. But when you stop it, his inner demon pops out and he again feels unworthy of himself which leads him to message you seeking for the same attention. In other words, you have good energy or vibration and he is trying to suck that out of you to feed himself. Such person fear commitment because they think they are not good enough for anyone so people might leave them giving rise to emotional and mental instability which they cannot handle. Such people are scared to be vulnerable. You might feel like helping them but you cannot do anything unless they acknowledge it and help them self. So don’t be disheartened for, a person full of so much love deserves equally loving and strong person. A person who is not scared to be vulnerable. I am sure this experience have made you stronger and more understanding and have brought you closer to the universe. Who knows you might get to help someone years from now who would be going through the same pain as you are experiencing now. Take care. lots of love and strength to you.

Regards,

Zandra

Dear Harshita:

You wrote earlier: “My work is not that busy, so I have a lot of free time because of which it is very difficult to distract myself from the scenario. And because I work alone I don’t have any social life, no friends”-

– this man you shared about, he is not the solution, he is not and will not be of any help to you. Might as well then start Project Harshita, meaning, you becoming the solution for your current problems.

Suggested Project Harshita:

1) Form a Daily Routine. Plan your day in a sensible way, wake up time, exercise/ walk outside, meals, work, guided meditations, a yoga routine, and so forth. Prepare a schedule to follow every day, times and activities, including rest and sleep of course. With experience, improve and perfect your daily routine planning and executing.

2) Find in-person Social Support where you live. There has to be some of that available to you, find it! Maybe a support group of some sort, one that meets twice a week to talk and listen. (Online social support is right here!)

3) Remove the Nostalgia from your thinking: when you lived in your country of origin, all was not wonderful, was it? It is easy to become nostalgic when away across the world, but loneliness, even desperation, you experienced that over there as well, at times at least, didn’t you? When you find yourself thinking again about this  man, remove the nostalgia and wishful thinking from the thoughts about him as well. Stick to reality and you will be better able to handle it well.

anita

You are welcome, Harshita. Post again anytime.

anita