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Harshita

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Viewing 14 posts - 1 through 14 (of 14 total)
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  • January 31, 2020 at 4:40 am #335978
    Harshita
    Participant

    Hello Anita,

    No. I haven’t attended any psychotherapy. To be honest, I have heard the term first time from yourself.

    Thanks

    January 29, 2020 at 3:14 am #335620
    Harshita
    Participant

    Hello Anita,

    Thank you for your response. Can you please suggest any platform for psychotherapy?

    Thanks

    October 29, 2019 at 9:50 am #320395
    Harshita
    Participant

    Dear Anita,

    I have been living independently for past 8 years now. So it was not when i used to live with my parents and i wasn’t a child. But clearly after reading this i feel i am acting like a child at the moment, which is trust me, very frustrating for myself as well.

    October 28, 2019 at 3:18 am #320199
    Harshita
    Participant

    Hello Anita,

    Thank you for these amazing suggestion. I will definitely look forward for in-person social support.

    Thanks

    October 25, 2019 at 1:34 am #319631
    Harshita
    Participant

    Dear All,

    Thank you for your replies. My brain and heart are clearly seemed to be not going in right direction. I failed in one of my assignment recently, I am going through this stupid break up and I hate my job where I am working.

    I am alone in a different country and right now I am in such a bad state that i feel like everything is just falling apart. I am finaly getting a much stronger feeling though that i don’t have to go back to him. That he has lost all the respect in my eyes and if i was a third person looking at this situation, I wouldn’t have recommended that girl to go back to him as well.

    Life is getting tougher, but again all your wise words above are giving me strength to keep going.

    Keep praying for me that I stay this strong and keep myself well.

    October 24, 2019 at 8:24 am #319489
    Harshita
    Participant

    Hello Anita,

    Thank you fo your response. Looks like i need to first work on my impatient and desperate behaviour to help myself. When you pointed out i realized, that i am indeed taking this topic a bit to far just because somewhere i want him back. But the simple solution to this is he is just not the right person and that i have to move on.

    Thank you for making me realize it. I hope i don’t flip back and work it out this time.

    October 24, 2019 at 7:37 am #319477
    Harshita
    Participant

    Hello Inky,

    Thank you for your reply. If i tll him i need a break, he will eagerly agree with it as he himself is uggesting to take a break and come back and talk to him.

    Also, no taking a date to wedding would not be a good idea as we generally don’t do that in my country.

    I think it is best to keep him at distance and move on in my life and have faith in the universe that whatever will happen, it will be in my benefit. If we are meant to be, we will find a way back to each other.  But for now i will stay away from him and try to keep distance from him as much as possible. If he genuinely realizes and feels his feelings for me, he will attempt to be back otherwise, its best that it ends.

    I hope I am doing the right thing.

    October 24, 2019 at 4:08 am #319455
    Harshita
    Participant

    Hello Anita,

    Sorry i am dropping so many replies, but things just keep coming up in my head. Although he is showing signs of “avoidant”, I don’t see if he is distressed or something. I live in UK. ecently he planned a tip to Europe and didn’t inform me neither thought of seeing me and later when i confronted him said that i understand that it was mistake but i didn’t wanted us to go in wrong direction. Everyone around me, including my mother said that it was genuinely worng on his end and he admits that too.

    Recently he said that he is emotionally weak and he is moving out of his house away from family. I saw that he gave a house party for one of the festival to all his friends in the house. He didn’t make any post but though his friends post I found out. He is pogressing well in his carrier and he is supremely focused on it. It is just in my case, that he is doing all this bad things.

    I don’t know what to think. He is still asking me to be his friend, no matter how much i abuse him. He wants that friend tag now.

    Please Help!!!!

    • This reply was modified 4 years, 6 months ago by Harshita.
    October 24, 2019 at 3:00 am #319451
    Harshita
    Participant

    Hello Anita,

    As i was reading connie’s topic of “We both are afraid” and came across the term “Avoidant”. Do you believe that this might be the case here as well? If yes, do you recommend that i should look into it and maybe help him out? or should i let him be as it is and move on in my life?

    October 24, 2019 at 2:58 am #319449
    Harshita
    Participant

    Hello Connie,

    I just read the whole reply chain. You are not alone in it. I am going through the same. After reading your thread, i can assure you, you are not alone in this. I am going through exact same thing. Looks like the guy who recently dumped me is also an avoidant as discussed above because of which I lost a person i loved as well. Just like you even i feel that he comes back or somethig happens that makes me happy again.

    Your last reply above is working like an inspiration for me because if you can be at a happy and peaceful place, i am getting a confidence that i can be too. So thank you very much for this inspiration. I wish you get a good life and another beautiful chance in love.

    October 24, 2019 at 2:38 am #319445
    Harshita
    Participant

    Dear Anita,

    Thank you for these inspiring words. I am still not well but now i am feeling a little ray of hope that i will be soon.

    Thank you

    October 23, 2019 at 2:42 pm #319361
    Harshita
    Participant

    Hello Anita,

    Thank you for this response. But I will be genuinely honest with you. This is not the first time I have been dis-okayed by someone. Yes, maybe somewhere I am unable to handle this rejection and feel like I need to do something. But if it is a rejection, why is he coming back and giving me unnecessary hopes? As I said, I told him to move on and he came back and said that no let’s be together but then he dumped me after 15 days.

    I have tried to leave him and move on and within 10-15 days I do start feeling good as well. But it is his coming back again in my life which causes the turbulence and makes me vulnerable. I just need to understand how I need to make myself strong enough to face him and say that he is not allowed anymore in my life and that I don’t want him anymore or why I am unable to do this?

    A few years back, I was a very strong person. I used to understand the right and wrong or good and bad in my life and no person could ever control my life’s decision. When I genuinely used to feel somebody or something is not right for me, I used to walk away from it, to have a good life. But now I have become so vulnerable and weak, it bothers me that how in certain years so much in my nature changed just because of a single person.

    October 23, 2019 at 2:00 pm #319349
    Harshita
    Participant

    Hello Everyone,

    Thank you again for your help and replies. But the question is still unanswered. How should I let him go? It is very difficult on my end. I have given it a lot of tries and have successfully failed in them. I tried everything but letting him go is the hardest thing I have ever gone through. I have tried dating other guys but I just don’t feel the connection. I have tried to keep myself busy in different stuff. I tried to block him off, but then he would attempt to communicate me by different platform or number. He is not the first guy in my life but never have I ever faced such hardship in leaving a guy and moving on with my life, despite being on the other part of the world. Is it because I have known him for the past 10 years and that he really was a very good friend whom I lost because I started having feelings for him?  It feels worse because of all this stuff, I lost a really good friend to whom I could share anything and could get support for anything. But I need to leave him now because as a love interest he turned out to be a totally opposite personality of my best friend for whom I started having feelings genuinely and not this guy who hurted me really bad.

    October 23, 2019 at 9:16 am #319311
    Harshita
    Participant

    Hello Everyone,

    Thank you very much for these amazing replies. I already feel better knowing there are good people out there helping me in this bad phase. Your reply’s have instantly made me feel good. I need to learn and accept the fact that life has to go on without him, now no matter how much i felt for him or how good a friend he was to me. I am using different self help books now and  i have started to maintain distance from him and have made him clear that i have to move on and i cannot just continue like this. Somewhere i feel he is still not satisfy and will definitely appraoch me when i am back in my country. I persued my education in business with an aim that one day i open my own clothing company, as i love fashion and genuinely want to do something in it. But I lost my vision because of him. But i am trying to get that back and bring myself back. Thank you everyone for your help and support.

    P.S. : Another advice? Do you think it will be possible for him and I to be friends again without all this?? I understand that all this what he did is terribly wrong but i don’t like being angry or keeping hatred for anyone. We are part of a common school friend groups and are about to come face to face again with each other on a common friend’s wedding and i don’t want to tense the environment because of problems between us. Can anyone suggest what i should do? What if he talks me into going out with him again?

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Viewing 14 posts - 1 through 14 (of 14 total)