Dear K:

You wrote: “I should trust him because he has never once given me a reason not to”. Regarding previous relationships, you wrote, “I had a ‘feeling’ they were with someone else”.

If you didn’t experience cheating, or betrayal before your relationships with men, you wouldn’t be worried about it, the thoughts and that ‘feeling’ wouldn’t occur to you. The thoughts and feeling occur to you because they were there, recorded in your brain, most likely as a child,  and they get activated in relationships with men as an adult.

Our experiences in childhood are most powerful.  A child is not a separate mental entity form the parent (the most present, care taking parent, usually the mother). When your mother expressed distress about being betrayed, it was your distress, it was you being betrayed.

What do you think?

anita