Home→Forums→Relationships→How do I stop blaming myself for not being more successful
- This topic has 4 replies, 5 voices, and was last updated 6 years, 5 months ago by
Inky.
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November 7, 2018 at 8:19 am #235819
AnonymousGuestDear Azelastine:
It reads like your ex girlfriend values money, respects money. The two of you lived together and you cooked for her daily. For that reason alone (you cooking for her every day), she should have done better than dump you over a single text message.
She values money. If you made more money, and she remained in a relationship with you, then it would be your money that will keep her in the relationship. The train you are chasing, the one traveling 300km/h, the prize, the destination, if you were able to get on it, would be a woman who will dump you if the train spits you out.
Better not chase that train. Better aim at a relationship with a woman who is willing to get off the train herself and walk with you away from the train. That train really goes nowhere.
anita
November 7, 2018 at 9:37 am #235833
PeterParticipantHow do I stop blaming myself for not being more successful
Take time to detach yourself from the need to measure being successful and judging yourself. Its likely your definition of success hasn’t been fully made conscious and as a result is some general idea you will never live up to.
If you have goals work toward them. If you struggle adjust. As long as your learning and engaged in life your successful. This ‘blaming’ will only help you if your doing it to learn how you might do/be better other wise its just a excuse to keep you stuck
November 7, 2018 at 9:56 am #235843
KelliParticipantHey there.
One of the things that has helped me deal most with the ‘unwanted’ in my life is simply realizing that everything that happens to us is just neutral vibrational feedback and nothing more. Whatever struggles you have had in life have nothing to do with you not being good enough, smart enough, or whatever else. You just had beliefs and a view of yourself that led these types of experiences, people,etc…to come into your orbit.
When we realize it’s feedback, all the painful stories you are telling about yourself and your circumstances no longer hold water. You see you were creating your reality the whole time–the programming just wasn’t great–and with some shifting of your inner world, you can create something new moving forward. What has already happened means nothing…like it literally means nothing because no situation has any inherent, objective meaning. Our mind is the one that assigns it.
November 7, 2018 at 11:38 am #235875
InkyParticipantHi Azelastine,
It sounds like she’s the real loser here.
Reality Check: You are only in your twenties (still young!). You have a job (Awesome!). You seems to live within your means and are responsible (unless you’re not telling us something). In short, you are doing great!
As you know, especially after I’m sure reading finance and success articles, making money is only ONE THIRD of it! The other two:
1. Investing
2. Saving
Throw some of that money into the stock market, be a good steward and watch it grow. DON’T dip into that Principle!! (The secret!)
Then save the money you do have. Live like a cheap bastard. Make it an art form.
Before you know it, you will be a Millionaire at Thirty and a Multi-Millionaire at Forty. You will meet a nice girl who is WORTHY of you! Who WON’T marry you for your money (or dump you for the perceived lack thereof). What a wonderful surprise awaits this girl when she realizes that you can live like a Prince!
The other girl will look on, kicking herself for unceremoniously dumping you, as you live your life, in love, with children, complete with a white picket fence and a dog. And what will she have? Only Karma will one day tell…..
Best,
Inky
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