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How can I deal with these emotions?

HomeForumsEmotional MasteryHow can I deal with these emotions?

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  • This topic has 5 replies, 4 voices, and was last updated 6 years ago by Mark.
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  • #286551
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Katie:

    I am responding to what you shared on this thread and in many of your previous threads:

    – it is time to accept the fact, Katie, that your hair is not blond, and that your eyes are not blue, that you are not and will never be externally, any more beautiful than you are now.

    Tend to that inner beauty that is … well, not that g0rgeous, at this point. Start developing it. Personally, I would very much like to .. see your inner beauty in a future post. It will be very refreshing for me. Looking forward to the experience!

    anita

    #286573
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Hi Katie

    Firstly, I would like you to carefully think about what constitutes an oppurtunity. What is a guy paying attention to you an oppurtunity for – love? a relationship? Are you really missing out on anything if a guy is shallow enough to not consider anyone that is not a “blonde bombshell”. I will not stereotype the bombshell nor the guys paying attention to her. But what in that are you craving that you don’t like who you are? Lots of guys hitting on you would be an awesome feeling – but why that is is you get confirmation that you are likable. Stop looking for this confirmation in the wrong places first, then you can move on to not looking for it at all.

    I don’t know how a brunette is inferior to a blonde as they are? Can you tell me? Does it really hurt to be a brunette? I think it is when you give everyone besides yourself a chance to “inform” you that the blonde is what they prefer and then you reject yourself for not being a blonde – then being a brunette hurts. Everyone has a preference, you should not take that personally. Don’t let the world tell you how to feel about yourself.

    Would you ever only judge a guy for his looks – i have a feeling you wouldn’t and you sound like a great person, don’t lower your standards and yearn for “oppurtunities” from bombshell chasers. And mind you there could be people that like the blonde and the brunette, it depends on what they are looking for. You need not close yourself off because people are going by looks as that does not mean you are not worthy of all the things blonde bombshell is worthy of.

    I will not say to you that you need a guy that loves you for who you are. Because what you need is for you to atleast like who you are before you can love yourself.

    Ask yourself what you want for your life. Right now your post seems to suggest attention and being liked – and the lack thereof has stagnated you . I say go big – if you didn’t need those things who could you be?

    gj

    #286581
    Mark
    Participant

    Katie,

    Us humans inevitably compare ourselves with others.  It is part of our evolutionary psychological makeup.  You are not the most physically beautiful woman as defined by our culture.  99.9% are not either.  As anita suggested, deal with that.  Cultivate the inner beauty.

    Rather focus on being attractive to others, find ways of enjoying yourself.  The more joy you have in your life, the more light you project out into the world, the more desirable you become as human.  I found that how I embrace life (“dance like no one is watching”), the more people I attract into my life who want to be/know me.

    What are your passions?  interests?  things make you smile, bring you joy?  What does fun look like to you?

    Do them.

    Mark

     

    #287233
    Katie
    Participant

    To everyone who replied,

    thank you all your responses help me so much.

    #287239
    Mark
    Participant

    Hugs and love to you Katie.  Do that for yourself as well.

     

    Mark

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