He's still likes his ex's social media. Should I be worried?

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This topic has 5 replies, 5 voices, and was last updated 7 years, 5 months ago by Poppyxo.

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December 11, 2017 at 8:43 am #181545

Inky
Participant

Hi jenna,

You have to take this a little seriously only because they just broke up and they were serious enough to consider marriage. I think that he “Likes” his exes’ social media as a way to still have his foot in the door in perpetuity. In fact, if YOU had social media, he’d be “Liking” every other picture you post there as well.

I say have fun with him, but don’t invest your heart into this guy.

Best,

Inky

December 11, 2017 at 8:48 am #181551

jenna
Participant

Thanks. So you believe him liking his ex’s pictures doesn’t mean anything?

December 11, 2017 at 8:51 am #181553

Anonymous
Guest

Dear jenna:

I read your May 2015 thread as well as this one. My advice: get to know this man further, have honest, open conversations. Be direct with him and expect him to be direct with you as well. The things you want to know about him, his feelings toward his ex girlfriend- ask him.

As you get to know him, and hopefully before you get physically intimate with him (or if already, maybe you can put that part of the relationship on hold), talk about your relationship goals and his, see if there is a match. Better have clear objectives and work toward achieving them.

anita

December 11, 2017 at 1:46 pm #181637

Katie
Participant

I honestly think it is normal. If any guy cared about a girl or loved her enough to talk about marriage, he isn’t going to get over her in 3 months. I have seen many situations where a guy broke up with a girl he loved but soon after got into a relationship with another girl that did in fact last a long time and become serious. In these situations, the guys have acknowledged that they are not completely over the first girl but that does not mean they do not want to/can’t develop feelings and a relationship with the next girl. But be careful that you are not a rebound. If you like this guy (which it seems you do) please give him time. You have to realize it will take time to get over his ex, and there is nothing wrong with being honest with him. Be straight up and maybe say something around the lines of “I like you but I don’t know if you are over your ex” ? You just have to be smart in these situations… and understand it will take time for him to get over her but that doesn’t mean all hope is gone for you and him. But also don’t let him play you and use you as a rebound.

December 15, 2017 at 3:41 am #182291

Poppyxo
Participant

Hi jenna,
What I came to realise in situations like this is that there is no right or wrong for you to feel. If you feel that it doesn’t sit well with you & that you don’t like it, then don’t question it. These are your thoughts, beliefs & values & what you believe in.

I personally wouldn’t like it if a guy I was seeing/being involved with was liking his exes stuff & I would question what the relationship between them is. If the answer didn’t sit well then I wouldn’t pursue it. This is also why it is so important not to get physical before knowing all of this. I remember when I first started seeing my boyfriend he had his ex girlfriend on Facebook as a friend & when I asked him about it he said “if it bothers you & makes you sad I will remove her”. I had previous past issues with boyfriends & ex girlfriends so always had that shadow over my head & for me now, it’s about trusting that person – but I wouldn’t say you’re at that stage.

I’d say it’s down to you how you feel as to how you move forward – if you don’t agree with it, talk to him about it & be completely open about your feelings.
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