I’m at a stage in my personal development where I appreciate feedback when I feel the desire to “help” and check myself. Am I just being judgemental? Or would it be beneficial to “help” others with some self awareness?
My parents are moving to a seniors lodge next month for medical reasons. A 3 bedroom house plus a garage must be “downsized”.
My mom is struggling greatly with letting go of all the “stuff” she has. (her words… she wants to cry, she is losing her stuff).
Compassion and empathy for what she must be feeling.

I am the only child that lives in the same city, my responsibility to get them ready for this move. There is a LOT of stuff. Boxes and boxes of it. I have offered to take all of it. Whatever they cannot take to the one bedroom suite in the lodge, I will store at my house.

The “lesson” I am finding in this is my mother’s reaction.
-She has requested that I go through every item and tell her whether or not I will use it or donate it. If I want to donate it, she won’t give it to me. She says she will decide who gets it. My response has been a gentle reminder that she cannot take all of her stuff. So she has said that the day they move, she will just pile everything that won’t fit in their suite outside the door and I will have to come get it then.

-She has further requested that I display her personal items in my house (where and how she wants) so that she can come visit and “see” them on display
-she has a history of hanging onto items even after she has given them away. (if she gave me a set of dishes ten years ago, she expects to come to my house and open the cupboard and see them there being used). This has happened 🙂

I cannot control how she behaves, nor do I want to. I am not upset with how she is reacting, it is what it is. It’s who she is, at this moment, and how she is dealing with a change that must be difficult.
Yes, I could entertain her and display a bunch of her stuff at my house. I could also put it away when she isn’t visiting. It wouldn’t harm me.
I know in the end, after they move, all of the stuff will have to be dealt with. It will unfold, without my doing “anything”.

so my question is this…
If it was a friend of mine, I would gently try to bring up letting go of attachment to stuff. (yes, I am perfectly okay if they decide that what’s best for them is holding onto stuff)
My mother is 71. Would you bring it up?
Maybe it’s just selfish. I can see her pain, and I want to help. It’s not necessary to be in pain about this. I want to help, but struggle with “when” I am helping and when I am being judgemental.
Is it a matter of never offering a helpful solution, only give advice if asked?
Anyone have similar experiences?

Yes, I am aware that it may sound judgemental. Right way, wrong way. I am honestly