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Help! Special Friendship gives me anxiety…

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Viewing 3 posts - 1 through 3 (of 3 total)
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  • August 16, 2014 at 4:45 am #63502
    Inky
    Participant

    I think the thing is that you’ve now been Friends for so long. That once you “Go There”, and it doesn’t work out, that it will Never Be The Same. Also, maybe (depends on the guy) the age difference is freaking him out. After all, when he met his old girlfriend, you were 12! A third thing ~ you’ve been the one (I think) to mostly initiate, to put ideas in his head that weren’t really there before.

    He seems passive. I would let him take the lead. Forget the sexual tension. Just see what happens.

    But don’t you think he should be your official beau first, who loves you (and says and shows it)?

    August 18, 2014 at 8:04 am #63574
    Kelly
    Participant

    To piggyback off Inky’s question, I’m curious why you proposed friends with benefits versus a romantic relationship? I personally would be confused if someone I was interested in suggested that – it seems to put restrictions on the relationship, a way of saying “I am attracted to you and I like you, but it’s just going to be sex among friends”. Given that he was in a (presumably) monogamous relationship for 10 years, I would suspect it’s not his “style” to have sex outside of a relationship. Is that what you want?

    August 19, 2014 at 2:25 pm #63658
    Helen
    Participant

    It’s what I want, and it’s what he wants. I’ve just come out of a relationship and don’t want a new one, and neither does he. It was my idea, but he is really the one contacting me usually.

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