Dear Darren:
Well, when you sided with your parents your now estranged wife did not tell you that what your parents said is not true, that is, that she did greet them or that she was polite and wasn’t on her phone all the time.
So what your parents said was true, no?
What she did say was that it was your fault that she had the affair.
What all this means is that your estranged wife disrespected your parents and you. She disrespected you in extreme ways, not caring about how you feel at all. You want to save a marriage that does not exist, so you make believe that it exists, that she made mistakes and you made mistakes of about equal seriousness.
And you are willing, seems to me, to accept abuse from your estranged wife.
This is not good for your health or for your daughter. Make-believe thinking/ wishful thinking will not serve you well, it never does long term (beyond a moment of self induced comfort, that is).
anita