Dear shypshnius:

Three weeks ago she left to another country to make some money, you wrote, and she expressed to you that “she feels quite depressed there and is usually sad/ in a bad mood”. A little while later she ended the communication with you. When you asked her what was wrong, she told you that “she was getting really attached to(you) and she doesn’t want it”.

It reads believable to me that a person having left their home to another country, not having family/ friends there, will feel lonely, depressed and in a bad mood, like she told you. Such feelings could have caused her to want more communication with you, not less, or none.

Sometimes a person who needs someone else too much feels more comfortable not having contact with that person, it takes away the desperation, the wanting, makes being alone more comfortable.

There are other possibilities. What do you think so far?

anita

Dear shypshnius:

I understand that you are angry. If that was her motivation, I understand her, but I also understand your frustration and anger. If she reaches out to you, and you make available for her to reach out to you, ask her to explain what she was thinking and feeling at the time, so that you can verify the assumption you and I brought up. Maybe some of it is true but there is more to it. Then take it from there.

You are welcome to post here anytime, and if she reaches out to you, you can post then as you figure out how to respond.

* I will be away from the computer for about fifteen hours.

anita