Dear humour,

you’re very welcome.

the other things you mentioned are there I think. I don’t understand if the way I perceive myself is the way people perceive me or how I should behave at my age and so on.

If you grew up separately from your mother and had no interaction with her as a child, then one thing that was missing was the s0-called mirroring. The baby reaches out, and the parent responds to the baby’s gestures. Or the baby cries, and the parent soothes her. The baby smiles, and the parent smiles back. That’s called mirroring.

If there is no one there to mirror us (to respond to our signals, our communication), I think one of the consequences is that we don’t know ourselves. We don’t know how others perceive us because we weren’t “perceived” (seen and mirrored) properly by our parents or care-takers.

So if that’s what happened to you, you’d need mirroring. You would need someone to see you and respond to you. I think the best way to do it is within a therapeutic relationship because a good therapist is (among many other things) a safe mirror. So that you slowly get that feedback, i.e. response to the signals you give out…

Dear humour:

“Yes Anita. Headaches have become a lot lesser and no signs of depression“- I am glad that your headaches have become a lot lesser and that there is no sign of depression!

“but the other things you mentioned are there, I think“- the other things I mentioned were concentration difficulties, lots of confusion and poor memory.

At the end of my previous post to you, the one you responded to 10 hours ago, I asked you if you grew up without a mother, and/ or without adequate physical touch, but you didn’t answer or respond to my question. Is it because you didn’t notice my question (because of concentration difficulties),  or because you read my question but forgot it by the time you responded (because of poor memory)?

*It is your right to not answer my questions, of course, and it’s fine with me (I do not expect answers). I am asking the above just in case it may be helpful for you to consider.

anita

Dear humour:

Thank you for replying to me and for explaining it to me as clearly as you are able!

anita

Dear humour,

you are very welcome! I hope those resources will be helpful to you. If you have any questions, please write. Wishing you all the best!