I understand the beginning of your passage. I don’t like it either. Simple as that.

I press the issue so not at all that I never got any context into what he says and his motivations.

I wonder what he would say in response to it even more so now.

His response would give me, (I don’t know about you) A LOT of insight.

He could say “Yea I watch you and what? you sneaky” that’s a whole issue!

Or he could say “Dude I just be joking when I say those things, Its not even like that”

Yea his violence level is non existent. I have done the worst I am capable of and saw his reaction then with Hunt. There really isn’t anything I could think of that would push him over the edge like that to me. Doubtful it would get there for any reason.

But I am indeed in a difficult situation. The consistent depression clouds my judgment. Even in a sense that in other times they would more so be associated with triggering my overwhelming depression like traits back then after. I would be normal enough that guys would do stuff; that’s life. Sometimes girls let boys do things they shouldn’t; but at a point I would have enough & make the tough choice and not deal with people anymore then.

I do have a lot invested in him and our relationship.

To make changes is hard. To see someone isn’t going to give you what you want or turn into the best person for you and decide to stop. Ending a relationship is hard..but being hurt is harder. John was by far my easiest breakup (still a lot) just because I only had pieces of him. But when you hold someone’s whole  heart in your hands and still have to decide to do what is best for you it is a pain staking task trying to figure out if your doing what is right.

On a scale of 1-10 (10 being knowing what you know) I would say average they know probably a teetering 6/7.

• This reply was modified 6 years, 8 months ago by Jenny Lynn.

That makes sense.

Just keep it short, basically tell him that “I have some issues with you telling me or implying to me that you’re watching me or need to keep watch on me” and that I need him to kind of clarify some of his actions/statements.

Yes I am cringing at that thought too.

That will ultimately make the choice for me.

I mean I am sane, so I can’t knowingly know that and still stay within this relationship.

Other smaller issues is more like I changed my mind frame to, can I be ok with this ‘thing’ in order to have what he brings to my life overall. But this is really non-negotiable.

I will however let you know what he says in response to this in a few days when I find the right time to start that conversation.

The above things you said are true. His temper needs to be tamed but there is a significant change. He as well needs to understand the need for proper discussions and exchanges within a relationship; like when talking about what upset you.

The Suspicion and jealously: per the shares between me and Anita, it will be addressed and it will basically be the line in the sand. If these things are happening the way I feel, I have some big decisions I’ll need to be making.

I have read up on GasLighting (I have a minor in psychology). But I did look into this as well in regards to my own situation. I can say truthfully he does not distort my reality. I don’t change my mind or recall of things just because he may not remember it the way I do.

• You constantly second-guess yourself.
• You ask yourself, “Am I too sensitive?” multiple times a day.
• You often feel confused and even crazy.
• You’re always apologizing to your partner.
• You can’t understand why, with so many apparently good things in your life, you aren’t happier.
• You find yourself withholding information from friends and family so you don’t have to explain or make excuses.
• You know something is terribly wrong, but you can never quite express what it is, even to yourself.
• You start lying to avoid the put downs and reality twists.
• You have trouble making simple decisions.
• You have the sense that you used to be a very different person – more confident, more fun-loving, more relaxed.
• You feel hopeless and joyless.
• You feel as though you can’t do anything right.
• You wonder if you are a “good enough” partner.

The only one of these traits I slightly identify with is

• You have the sense that you used to be a very different person – more confident, more fun-loving, more relaxed.

Yet I have moderate/server depression so I can’t really say he is all to blame for that.

Hey Anita..

So…we broke up.

It has been a week yesterday.

We got into an argument Last Thursday morning that escalated way too quickly over something so ridiculous.

I asked him how much something he bought cost. (He buys random things from auction apps and re-sells them.)

I asked him “How much do you have tied up in this stuff” (Ipad mini, headphones, etc)

He got irritated and says its none of my business but if had asked instead “How much are you selling it for?” He would have answered. smh…as if how much did you pay for it wouldn’t have been the next question after that anyways. Both questions were valid and could occur in any order.

So I get upset, because we just started going back and forth about it and he said “You’re retarded!” (That’s like my LINE) calling me out of my name as something more derogatory is CROSSING said line but in this case he knows my limit and was tapping on my line.That is something I take personal. Taking characteristic shots at my intelligence (in this case the relevance of my question) is something I cant brush past. So I was pretty heated about it.

He just walked out of the room and as he came back down the hallway we were looking at each other and he kept saying it. I was like what the heck and I go in the bedroom where he was going. We started arguing a few sentences back and forth and he just yells at me “you’re retarded like your a fucking idiot dude.” I was just like “You’re good, we’re done. Its done.” He basically repeated that at me and I walked away. We have spoke in passing but nothing more than a sentence here or there since then.