Dear MissMindy:

You wrote that he lives like a gypsy. A gypsy lifestyle is one of moving from place to  place, taking odd jobs and not settling down. I suppose it means not caring to form long, enduring relationships, at least not with people who stay in one place. Maybe feelings are more superficial, to accommodate the lifestyle.

I am thinking that his relationships with other women, in his past and future, are likely to be of the same or similar quality to what he had with you, because it is about his lifestyle and the attitudes that associated with the lifestyle.

You are a nurse, you own your own home, live in one place. You don’t drink and do drugs, hardly, if any (?)- well, your lifestyle is different, and the attitudes associated are different from his. You and him had music in common, but that is obviously not enough to make a relationship last. Your brother, you wrote, thought highly of him and was happy for the reunion. Well, your brother was wrong.

You wrote that you are shocked that he left so soon after returning to you, but reads to me that him leaving you, breaking up, is congruent with who he is and has been for a long time.

I do hope you feel better soon. To help yourself heal and live well, best you choose next a compatible man, one who doesn’t drink excessively, one who doesn’t do drugs, one who  views relationships as seriously as you do…

Please do post anytime.

anita

Dear MissMindy:

Make peace with those thoughts, make peace with the thought of him being with his ex. Let the thoughts be as you take deep breaths or soak in a hot bath or lay in the sun, absorbing the heat, letting it relax you.

Every time you find yourself thinking, imagining him with his ex, take a few deep breaths and let the thoughts be okay with you.

anita