Dear CB:

“he has changed to become unrecognizable”- it hardly ever happens that people drastically change: it can happen as a result of a stroke, or if a person suffers a brain injury. People don’t spontaneously change drastically. Usually, it’s that we didn’t know the person to begin with, or that we didn’t notice who they’ve been changing slowly,  for a long, long time. And it is only when they do something drastic, then we notice that .. something really did change.

Like you suggested before, he probably planned on leaving long before he did. He’s been changing for a long time before he left, before you noticed that he changed.

How is the weather, where you live? Here it is sunny, a change from how it’s been lately. It’s hard to imagine there is a pandemic going on.

anita

Dear CB:

I wish you weren’t hurting in this lovely day (here and where you are). I wish you felt as sunny as it is outside. Why don’t you take a walk out? – it won’t make your heart sing, but it’s better than staying indoors all day long, you will feel just a bit better. And it’s good for your health, and your back too!

anita

Dear CB:

“tomorrow another day”, you wrote yesterday. Today is that day, Monday, April 13, 2020. Is there anything different for you today?

anita

HI there, I am new to the forums, but yours caught my attention. I am sorry you have gone through such a loss, its never easy to end anything after any amount of time, whether it be for the best or not….but most likely it is for the best…even though it hurts like hell now. I can see this from both view points as I am divorced…5 years now, married 110 and together over 20 in total. It was my decision to get divorced and it was not an easy decision, but it was the right decision…for both of us, even though at the time it made me look selfish and brutal and uncaring. It hurt, and still does at times, but it gets easier and easier with each passing day.

Remember this…neither of you are bad people, neither of you planned for this. This may just be that massive bump in the road for you to be able to fully get in touch with yourself and who You really are and what You really love and to create an identity that is all about You and dependent or reliant upon someone else.

No one can make you feel anything, You are the one in control of You and how You feel. Don’t let this rock you to your core of devastation, rather try to see the multiple possibilities that lie ahead that are made just for You to explore and gain insight and a wealth of knowledge about yourself…..You will be surprise what you find and how freeing it all can be…just try : )

Peace,

Juliag

Dear CB:

“I just .. lost myself, not sure I’ve ever known who I am”-

– who you are is not a necessarily a finished product, it can be a process of becoming. If you choose to be engaged in life, observing, questioning, learning about you and about other people, you will feel more and more at peace, and life will be meaningful.

anita

Dear CB:

You wrote that you are struggling with three recent big events: a breakup, the passing of your partner’s mother, and the lockdown. Big events indeed.

“I  truly feel in physical pain nothing like I’ve ever felt before”- what physical pain are you referring to: back pain, something else?

anita