fbpx
Menu

Heartbroken

Home→Forums→Relationships→Heartbroken

New Reply
Viewing 4 posts - 1 through 4 (of 4 total)
  • Author
    Posts
  • January 5, 2018 at 11:03 am #185231
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Hello Haru,

    I’m sorry you are experiencing turmoil from this experience. There is a great difference between an in-person relationship and an online relationship. While your feelings may be true regardless, it does not guarantee that your feelings, expectations or hopes are shared. Given your contact there clearly was a connection on some level, but it seems like your perception of the connection is very different than his. From your account he was consistent in his objection to a long distance relationship (LDR). He likely enjoyed your communication in the game. When you communicated your feelings he was okay only to the extent he was willing to maintain the game level of connection. He may have feelings for you, but his logic regarding a LDR is steadfast. When you began voicing your expectations and disappointments, he wanted no part of that and expressed his ongoing objection. As is often the case, when you lose control of your emotions (usually based upon non-shared expectations) he likely perceived this as “drama” and wanted no part of that given you are not in a in-person relationship. His logical conclusion may be that if he ends all contact you will get over your feelings and he will avoid a drama he sees no happy ending. That said, he may return after a cooling off period. Either way, it sounds very likely you will not find the close, connected relationship you desire with this man. Take this time to focus on you and what you truly want. I suspect you want a complete relationship. If this is the case do not settle for less. Instead, focus on you. Pursue all things that give you joy and help you evolve to the best, most confident version of you. Love yourself and appreciate all you have to offer. There are no doubt many out there who will do the same. People usually follow our lead. Wishing you a healthy, confident and joyful new year.

     

    January 5, 2018 at 3:04 pm #185271
    Eliana
    Participant

    Hi Haru,

    I can relate to your post and feelings. I too have met men online via social media or online chat forums, and they too have been from another country. The last one being from the Middle East. He friended me, and as time went on, I started to develop feelings. Then my feelings turned very romantic. I wanted to meet him. He lied to me saying he wanted to move to United States and “build a life with me”. Little did I know he was lying because by this time, we were videochatting, he was the first person I saw in the morning, the last person I saw at night. My heart skipped a beat when he messengered me. I ended up falling head over heals for him. I foolishly believed his lies. He had no romantic interest in me, he was actually Catphishing me, so he could get to the United States. We were from two very different cultures and had different ways of looking at things..and would start getting in silly and petty disagreements and bickering. Then he did not want me speaking to any other men from the middle east such as Pakistan, Iran or he said if he found out, he would break up with me. Then after about two months, he never asked me about my life, my job, how I was doing, how my day went, etc. He was very distant and aloof.

    I would send him romantic pictures and his response? A fake “muah baby, hope you had a romantic evening” and sent me back a picture of a couple pecking each other on the cheek. I got mad, and didn’t message him for two days. Nothing back from him. I finally had enough, and asked him to leave me. All he said is “what is it you want” when I told him, he never responded. I was heartbroken, and cried over him for months. I swore to myself never to meet another man online or long distance again, it’s too complicated, does not work out. My advice, is to meet someone local. x

     

    January 5, 2018 at 3:09 pm #185273
    Eliana
    Participant

    Did not submit properly..

    January 6, 2018 at 5:05 am #185317
    Inky
    Participant

    Hi Haru,

    It is true, long distance relationships generally don’t work out. And if they do, then you’re physically “kind of together but not really”. You do need someone local!

    The other issue is you are combining sub-worlds. When I combine sub-worlds, I always seem to come to grief. Keep your gaming friends in the game, your work friends at work, and don’t invite your neighbors to the family holidays, etc., etc.!

    Work on your compartmentalization skills! There is no way your gaming friend turned boyfriend drama should have ruined a real life job interview!

    As for this guy, I’m sorry the soured relationship ruined your game. Find another game, block the boy, and find local guys!

    Good Luck,

    Inky

  • Author
    Posts
Viewing 4 posts - 1 through 4 (of 4 total)

You must be logged in to reply to this topic. Please log in OR register.