He Left me after 7 years together for Conservative Parents.. Help me Please!

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This topic has 139 replies, 18 voices, and was last updated 9 months, 1 week ago by Sushmita.

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February 22, 2024 at 8:58 am #428051

Sushmita
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Thanks for being there during my tough time…. I am towards healing.. happier and content without him.. something that felt is impossible to overcome ….. I am working towards achieving my goals and bettering myself…. to anyone going through heartbreaks.. just hang in there.. you’ll get the courage to overcome. Do not fight for someone who is okay with loosing you.. the world is big .. there are plenty of fishes in the sea .. but first work on yourself. 🌻

Thanks again ma’am.:)

Sending you love 💝

February 22, 2024 at 10:58 am #428055

anita
Participant

Dear Sushmita:

You are very welcome, and thank you for your appreciation and loving sentiment! So good to read your positive update, and I hope that others reading your words will be encouraged by your uplifting message. Thank you for caring about others and being so kind to me!

Anytime you feel like it (feeling positive or not), do post again.

anita

March 10, 2024 at 7:06 am #428533

Mansi2468
Participant

Hi. Going through unbearable pain. We were together for 12 years. His famiy always hated me without even knowing me a bit just because he was dating me.

I always kept positive though that maybe because i am his girlfriend this is happening. Once they know we are serious things will change.

We stayed together. 4 years ago he asked me to tell my family about us. I did. His elder sisters are not married so his parents didnt want to meet us till that happens. 2 years ago they met but were very cold to me. His mom didnt even talk to me. I still thought that its ok maybe she will be better will me in future once things are sorted. So many years have passed but their cold treatment never changed. And now also they totally said no to marriage till the elder sisters are married. I am 31. I was still willing to wait. My family just wanted a roka atleast. Ofcourse after so many years thats the bare minimum. But they are not willing to budge. I cant deal with my insecurity and my boyfriend just backed out now because he cant give me any timeline for commitment. I am in unbearable pain. He was my life. He was my husband to me. I gave him everything. Worshipped him. And i just dont know what to do or how to deal with this.

March 10, 2024 at 8:51 am #428542

anita
Participant

Dear Megha:

You shared that you were together with your boyfriend since you were 19, now 31 (12 years). His parents didn’t want to meet you until 2 years ago, and when they did, they were very cold to you, his mother didn’t even talk to you. Most recently, his parents said No to marriage and No to a Roka (a pre-marriage ceremony, in Indian culture), not before your boyfriend’s 2 elder sisters get married.

“I cant deal with my insecurity and my boyfriend just backed out now because he cant give me any timeline for commitment. I am in unbearable pain He was my life. He was my husband to me...”- I am sorry that you are in unbearable pain (or were in unbearable pain one hour and 45 ago when you submitted the post above). Sooner than later, you will feel better!

When you say that he backed out, do you mean from the idea of marriage, or from the relationship as a whole? Also, is he his parents’ only son, and do you have any idea why his mother, didn’t like you as her son’s potential wife/ her potential daughter in-law… and why she didn’t arrange for her son to marry another woman, one of her choice?

anita

March 17, 2024 at 11:56 am #428720

Sushmita
Participant

If in his 30s he is still looking upto his parents for his life’s decision and putting you through this.. idk . Indian families are just toxic in the name of culture and traditions.There is no quickfix to your pain, I’ll not give you false hopes.. world is like that.. it’s not fair.sooner you accept it better it will be for you.If he wants to marry you and family is not budjing you can marry without their approval.. such people do not deserve to be part of their children’s life.And if he is not showing any effort.. don’t waste another 12 years. Good luck didi.
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