Hi Bailey26,

There is nothing wrong with hoping that he may return, much like there is nothing wrong with hoping to win the jackpot in the lotto. The difference between the two, is whether the hope begins to affect other parts of your life. As you stated yourself, you cannot control what another feels. You can control (i truly believe) how much influence said person can have in your life. It’s tough because you were so invested and in the end he wasn’t. Essentially in order to stop hoping and stopping the pain and memories, is to remember who and what you were and are now before this man came into your life. Hope is based on doubt. Hope will not make you happy, but give the illusion you are. You hold onto hope maybe because you doubt in your own ability to meet someone else, as Anita states, someone emotional and motivated to be with you. You may doubt that your not capable of ‘another round’. This is why people get so devastated when they breakup, because they feel they found ‘the one’. I believe the one should be replaced by ‘the right one, at the right time’. So i reckon this is ‘why’ you continue to hold onto hope, because it’s easier than having to go through the process again. You will not meet a man like before, it’s illogical to think this way…unless he has a twin brother! But you can meet someone with similar qualities, maybe even better ones, with more shared interests. Maybe you will be even more comfortable. Instead of hoping for something that cannot come to fruition, believe in the ‘maybe’s’. You have to believe in yourself, believe that you can find someone else, that someone will love you for who you are and see the beauty on the inside and out. Change ‘hope’ for ‘self-belief’ and i think you are heading in the right direction. It will take time, so don’t rush it, take it one day at a time.

I hope this helps, if you have a comment please continue this thread 🙂
MAtty