Three years ago, I was in the middle of breaking off an engagement, and he was licking his wounds from being dumped by a pretty surgeon. Both of us scarred and not fully healed waded back into the dating game. At first we gave each other exactly what we needed, safety, a shoulder to cry on, distraction, and a shared passion of all things fitness and outdoors. We trained for marathons together, and water skied, paddle boarded, shared our love of healthy eating and had really awesome adventures. It was a perfect friendship, however there were some major red flags from the start, and I ignored them, denied them, and kept moving my boundaries in order to preserve my amazing friendship. I knew in my heart something was off, and I ignored it. I was happy with the stability and adventure. This man is successful, smart, handsome, and came from a great family! I ignored that he was still very much in love with the pretty surgeon, I ignored I felt attacked when I expressed opinions that differed from his own, I ignored that my values and passions were continually being questioned and unsupported. I ignored the no sex for over a year, I ignored the fact I was becoming like a mother to him, I ignored the manipulation. I ignored that I was giving everything I had and I still was not enough to make him truly happy, I ignored that he felt he was superior to me, I ignored the narcissistic behavior, and I ignored the growing feeling in my gut that kept telling me that I need to prepare and accept this may come to an end. Well today is that day, and I am having to find the courage to admit that this is my fault, and that I allowed this to happen. I have to accept that while he loves me as his friend he may never love me as a life partner, and you know what it’s going to be OK!!!! I love me, and I am enough, and I have the courage to face what I already know is coming, and become the best version of myself and live my best life yet. While I love him, and appreciate everything we have done together, I forgive myself, and I forgive him. He is a wonderful man, but he may not be my wonderful man!