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Happiness turned into a nightmare

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  • June 12, 2016 at 5:25 pm #107060
    Felix
    Participant

    Some of you have really helped me on my previous posts, but this is just soul crushing. I mean, I mean completely broken right now. I know it’s not the end of the world. I am not crying or feeling sorry for myself. I am realistic and I know eventually things will get better. But right now, I am broken

    So after a month or so of searching for a job, I thought I was in heaven. I got an offer from an amazing company where I would work from home about 80% of the time. Other amazing perks and I was ecstatic. They flew me to Boise for training. On day 2 (I was already feeling weird because my 6th sense was telling me that something was off), I spoke to the manager and she said that this in fact was going to be an onsite job. As in I would have to go to remote offices, of which some are far away. The job itself was a lower position, but I accepted it because the money was decent, it was work from home which would allow me to study and get my certifications. So I asked them to honor the original offer (which was through a recruiter) and they said no.
    I let the recruiter know and she was as shocked as I was. I flew back to LA, broken, depressed, anxious, and again broken. I already have a few interviews lined up, but I am feeling so hopeless that I wish I was dead. Not as in take my own life, but just that I didn’t exist. I can’t get myself to think positive. I can’t get myself to be optimistic. I can’t get myself to think that I will eventually find something. I’ve gone through bad times in my life, but I have never felt this bad. I have never felt so broken, like such a failure, like my world is ending. I am lost =\

    June 12, 2016 at 7:30 pm #107077
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Felix:

    Reminds me of the saying: “Whatever goes up must come down.” Something like that. Maybe you feel so broken because you were so hopeful, so happy so the fall was longer, as in falling from a high cliff, not just a hill. Such a serious fall hurts, broken, crushed spirit. It is tough to endure such pain and the wish that you didn’t exist so that you didn’t feel that pain is understandable. I felt that way many thousands of times for long periods of time.

    What you do is learn best you can from the experience, guard your expectations so that you go up a hill, so if you fall it won’t be that devastating. Lower your expectations a whole lot for now, it may help.

    Your world is not ending, only a hope you had for this job ended, a joy and hope you had ended. A door you hoped would lead you into a bright future closed on you. It is understandable you feel the way you do.

    Endure this feeling, don’t fight it, don’t escalate it, just feel it and let it be. It will change, you will see. It is like a foot cramp, don’t fight it, let it be and it will go away, all by itself. It is the nature of emotions, that they change, like the weather.

    anita

    June 13, 2016 at 5:03 am #107108
    Inky
    Participant

    Hi Felix,

    No one would have taken that job. Why do you think they falsely advertised as work from home, great perks, good salary? Then when you accepted, they did the old bait and switch.

    Another old saying is “If it sounds too good to be true it probably is”.

    Go to your other interviews and stay grounded.

    Blessings,

    Inky

    June 13, 2016 at 6:53 am #107110
    Seaisland
    Participant

    I am so sorry. It appears that the company was so convincing they fooled your adviser also. Were other potential workers in your class surprised also? You did feel by the second day that something was wrong. I am so glad you were strong enough to walk away then instead of putting yourself thru more around these predators.

    I am sure the long trip going elated and coming back disillusioned was very tough on you mentally and physically.

    Be kind to yourself–it wasn’t anything you did wrong to be fooled by them.

    Seaisland

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