Dear Felix:

Reminds me of the saying: “Whatever goes up must come down.” Something like that. Maybe you feel so broken because you were so hopeful, so happy so the fall was longer, as in falling from a high cliff, not just a hill. Such a serious fall hurts, broken, crushed spirit. It is tough to endure such pain and the wish that you didn’t exist so that you didn’t feel that pain is understandable. I felt that way many thousands of times for long periods of time.

What you do is learn best you can from the experience, guard your expectations so that you go up a hill, so if you fall it won’t be that devastating. Lower your expectations a whole lot for now, it may help.

Your world is not ending, only a hope you had for this job ended, a joy and hope you had ended. A door you hoped would lead you into a bright future closed on you. It is understandable you feel the way you do.

Endure this feeling, don’t fight it, don’t escalate it, just feel it and let it be. It will change, you will see. It is like a foot cramp, don’t fight it, let it be and it will go away, all by itself. It is the nature of emotions, that they change, like the weather.

anita

I am so sorry. It appears that the company was so convincing they fooled your adviser also. Were other potential workers in your class surprised also? You did feel by the second day that something was wrong. I am so glad you were strong enough to walk away then instead of putting yourself thru more around these predators.

I am sure the long trip going elated and coming back disillusioned was very tough on you mentally and physically.

Be kind to yourself–it wasn’t anything you did wrong to be fooled by them.

Seaisland