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Guy Friend I Like, Do I tell him?

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  • November 20, 2016 at 10:33 am #120777
    Ella
    Participant

    There is a guy friend that I like, I’ve only known him for about a month and a half
    we’re on the same co-ed ultimate frisbee team together and have gotten pretty close.
    He texts me almost everyday or I text him about jokes and stuff and more serious/more personal stuff too.
    We’ve hung out in groups several times and alone a couple of times.
    (they’ve kind of felt like dates) which he jokingly sent me -when you do all these couple things
    but just friends- but it might not totally be related to us
    -we flirt in text but Im not sure if he likes me.
    I feel like there might be something there but I value our friendship
    so much but I don’t want to make it awkward between us.
    Especially since we see each other so much in practice for ultimate frisbee and for team events.
    He is shy and not as blunt about these things and I feel like I’d have to be the one to say something
    I don’t want to weird him out.
    He initiates hugs and I’ve met his group of friends once when he invited me to come.
    I want to wait longer but at the same time I don’t because I want to get it off my chest and stop internalizing so much
    and trying to over analyze everything
    so conflicted
    I appreciate any feedback and especially from a guy’s point of view too!

    November 20, 2016 at 10:53 am #120783
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear justrun19:

    I would tell him matter of factly: “I like you as a friend. I think I will like you as a boyfriend too. Let me know sometime if you want to find out. If not, it’s okay. Being friends with you is good enough for me.”

    Say it in a casual, calm, factual way, gently but not emotionally. When you are done saying it, attend to another activity, so that it doesn’t look to him like you are waiting for his answer.

    If he doesn’t say anything about this again, let it go and continue with the friendship as before.

    * Practice saying the above and imagine if you can say it calmly. Also imagine you saying it and he not mentioning it again a day, a week, a month later: do you feel that you will be resentful? If so, it may not be a good idea to take my advice.

    anita

    November 21, 2016 at 4:27 am #120805
    Alien incident47
    Participant

    You should continue to be friends with him , but at the same time hang out more and get to know him better as well as for him to know you too. Don’t be in a rush. You are young take the time to know one another, lots of times people rush into a relationship only to fizzle or end in divorce because they never took the time to know one another. Speaking from experience with my wife we were friends for 2 and half years before we even decided to take it to the next level. A stronger bond was made unlike past relationships I had in the past . I’m sure you gone through your closet and looked at a shirt and asked your self “why the hell did I buy this ” , you bought it on impulse because you liked it at the time. Same thing happens when you rush a relationship. Good luck and be patient.

    November 21, 2016 at 6:29 am #120807
    Inky
    Participant

    Hi justrun19,

    Well, if you tell him, don’t be too hurt if he lets you down nicely or that later the friendship will never be the same. Maybe I’m saying this because I got burned by past confessions.

    I’m sure he’s picked up the vibe that you like him by now (if he’s not totally clueless). I say let him approach you.

    If you want to give him more clues, up the physical contact a little.

    If you decide to bite the bullet and be direct, I like Anita’s advice above on how to do it.

    Good Luck,

    Inky

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