Dear Dina:

I am guessing you are feeling so horrible because you hate being disapproved of and your sister disapproved of your behavior, or worse: she disapproved of you.

Dina doesn’t care and sees no value in avoiding pork and avoiding bread during Passover. This is part of who Dina is. And your sister disapproved of Dina.

anita

Dear Dina:

To stop caring for a short time, there are ways, from drugs to some exciting distraction. To stop caring long term, to stop being anxious and reactive, well that takes a journey that few take because it is a long journey, requiring incredible amounts of dedication, persistence, courage, faith, honesty, extreme gentleness with yourself and excruciating patience.

anita

Yes, every religion has rules. For instant, my sister ( 7 day Adventist) does not wear make-up or jewelry. I said, “As long as you are not prideful or haughty, there is no sin. But if you think wearing those things will make you feel that way and weaken your connection to God, then do not do it.”

My sister’s Sabbath is on Saturday. She says, “you need to go on Saturday. I replied, ” It doesn’t matter too me when I go. If I feel like going Sunday, sometimes Wednesday and Thursday. The key to it is, just as long as I go and worship Divine Love.

There are benefits to some of the religious rules but it boils down to that person’s feelings. Ask yourself, “Will this strengthen my connection to Divine Source.”

Dear Dina:

I read a few years ago that some Buddhist said: “What others think of me is none of my business”- what a concept. What others thought about me has been all I cared about. I am working on it too, and I am doing much better with this.

anita