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Grieving the loss of a relationship

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  • November 9, 2016 at 7:58 pm #120024
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear jella96:

    Maybe reading about other people’s troubles regarding relationships will help you. You can click Forums above and go to Relationships. Lots of real life stories there, told with raw emotions. You may find comfort in some of the stories. There are also Articles on the main page, on the subject of Relationships.

    Otherwise, this horrible feeling you are experiencing, know that you will survive this feeling: as horrible as it feels, it is not dangerous to feel it. It is uncomfortable but not dangerous. You are safe feeling it. Relax into it best you can and it will weaken with time.

    Any change, like the one you just experienced, the actual separation is uncomfortable and depending on the change, it can be shocking. A good part of us likes things to remain the same and it takes adjusting to changes.

    You were attached to your ex boyfriend. You miss him because you grew attached to him. We get attached to people, places, things, routines. When someone or something we are attached to is no longer there, we feel distress. It is natural.

    As he talked to you about the future with you, being a family, you got used to the “living happily ever after” dream and it is difficult to let such a dream go.

    Post anytime; hope you feel better soon!

    anita

    November 10, 2016 at 2:34 am #120043
    Mishika
    Participant

    Hi Jessica
    First of all you need to stop blaming yourself and thinking things like, does he miss me too? Will he miss me? Will he regret losing me, like I regret losing him? How soon will he find another girlfriend? When will I find someone new? And to stop this spend a lot of time outside. It’s a cliché, but fresh air really does clear your head. So does, you know, seeing the sun every once in a while. Take at least two hours from each day just to leave your Cave of Forgotten Dreams and interact with The Outside.

    And as you asked When will you find someone new so even if you start dating someone else, take it really slow because You just ended a relationship and your heart flipped over. If you take it step by step and enjoy it as a casual thing for a while, that’ll give you some time to evaluate whether you’re actually ready to be with someone again.

    Get some solid book recs, join a pickup sports game, go on a trip somewhere with a girlfriend. Paint your bathroom; I don’t care whatever you like Just do something for yourself and scheme to get yourself back .

    You must read this darling how spending time alone with yourself turns out to be a gift ?

    http://www.magicalvibe.com/feeling-lonely/

    Hope this helps mishika 🙂

    • This reply was modified 8 years, 5 months ago by Mishika.
    November 10, 2016 at 5:25 am #120047
    Inky
    Participant

    Hi Jessica,

    You are handling this SO well! The guy sounds like he ultimately just cares about himself.

    I am warning you though that after his program/move/whatever in a few years he WILL check on you to see how you “are”. Men do that when they’re betwixt and between relationships. To you this is now good news but I am telling you that when, not if, WHEN he contacts you it is a trap.

    You are NOT to contact him. When, not if, WHEN he contacts you, DON’T respond to him. He will go crazy. It is his own fault. Your role in his life now will be to show him the natural consequences of dumping someone so casually. That once you say good bye you can’t go back.

    You are to date, travel, hang out with your friends, study, work and have fabulous adventures.

    And in your next relationship DON’T move in together! That drives them crazy and you will then be married before you know it!

    Blessings,

    Inky

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