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Going in circles

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  • July 11, 2016 at 7:55 pm #109445
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Janine:

    In your “afraid of me” thread you wrote: “I go in circles about this being all my fault and thinking that I will always be evil and unlovable.”- so there is the going-in-circles theme.

    You turned 18 a short while ago. I wish you worked real hard on healing. If you did, in five years you’d be in a good place and you will only be 23. I wish you worked on your childhood abuse (starting with believing it was abuse!), healing from the shame, a result of being mistreated as a child.

    And as you heal, you will gain a sense of pride, pride in your healing work. You will realize you are a good, worthy, lovable person (have been from the beginning)who deserves respect, from this guy and from any other person, from yourself.

    anita

    July 11, 2016 at 8:10 pm #109448
    Janine
    Participant

    Hi Anita,

    I think about healing a lot. I feel very stuck, though. My parents took away my therapist as well as financial support, they will not support me unless I go to college. I am working on that now. I just have no idea about what to do, because if healing is the first step, there are steps I need to take before so I can take that step.. Does that make sense?

    • This reply was modified 8 years, 9 months ago by Janine.
    July 12, 2016 at 5:00 am #109461
    Inky
    Participant

    Hi Janine,

    With this guy there is a maturity issue. He’s not a bad person, it’s just he literally doesn’t know he’s doing these horrible things! The pot smoking and the friends that go with it just compounds it and makes everything worse.

    1. Ditching you
    2. Not respecting your time… or time itself
    3. Putting you or a future partner in danger by having had unprotected sex

    I would tell him you’re taking a break. Then YOU go literally away from it all. A road trip where you’re away from him and everyone. Where you are alone for once with your own thoughts.

    Good Luck!

    Blessings,

    Inky

    July 12, 2016 at 6:00 am #109464
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Janine:

    Your parents being able to afford a (competent) therapist for you, knowing you need one and not providing you with a therapist is cruel, considering they were the ones who caused you to be in need of therapy!

    You have two options as I see it: accept their financial non support and make it on your own. Somehow, survive and thrive without them, no contact with them, not now, not ever. You can get no-cost therapy to start with- there are such resources out there. You can decide that you are going to make it without them. Now and onward.

    If they will pay for a competent therapist for you IF you go to college, the other option is to apply and attend a college and therapy. This option could maybe be okay if your contact with your parents is not harming you so much that the therapy will be useless.

    What do you think of the two options, and is there any other option?

    anita

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