Two years ago I met someone and ever since we have been going around in circles with each other. I feel like I really suck because I live my life in patterns. Basically he is the only person in my life to not leave me, but there are a lot of things about the relationship I do not like.

When we are alone, he’s a sweetheart. We cook together, cuddle, watch movies, drink tea, and all sorts of lovely stuff. We get along well and he seems to know what I’m thinking and feeling. We could spend every second with each other.

However, I don’t think that is the life he wants. He says he is happy just being around me and that it’s enough, but his actions make this confusing.. There are two extremes: We spend all of our time together OR he goes off partying and ignores me. I don’t really understand why this is. Sometimes I go out with him and his friends and he gets so focused on smoking pot that he will completely abandon me. On the 4th of July we were together in Ocean Beach for the day (a popular place for drinking and smoking weed, as well as other things) and while we were walking down the street, he just walked away from me because he saw someone with a joint. I don’t like weed too much, so maybe I just don’t get it.. But in that moment I thought, “I really wish I could be with someone who doesn’t just walk away from me like that”. He also does not know how to keep plans. When we first started dating, he would show up hours late, high or drunk. That was two years ago and that’s where we’re at again. Yesterday we had plans for me to head to his house at 4, and at 4:15 I texted him to let him know I was on the way, and he was already in someone else’s car, smoking pot. When he got home, he told me that he doesn’t even like smoking and that he wants to stop, but his friends pressure him, or he needs it for anxiety, sleep, headaches, ect. I have heard this line many times. Another thing is that he has a very high sex drive, and I have quite a few personal obstacles when it comes to sex. I do sexual things with him anyway, but it is emotionally straining at times. I have certain values when it comes to sex, and he does not. In the times we were apart from each other, he had unprotected sex with pretty much every female in his life. This is a turn off to me, it makes me feel cold and queasy to think about it. All of these things lead me to be passive aggressive with him at times, but for some reason I can’t pull myself away from him. I have tried to cut off contact with him multiple times, but we always end up together again.

• This topic was modified 8 years, 8 months ago by Janine.