Hi everyone,

I have a bit of a random problem that no one in my real life seems to understand and thinks I should just get over. When I was in grade school, I was very shy, but I had a teacher who really encouraged me to come out of my shell. He suggested to my parents that I take piano lessons, and he was the first to cast me singing on stage. He also is a big part of the reason that I went to an elite high school, and is basically the reason I’ve done so well in life (I’m a lawyer and an opera singer on the side now, at 30 years old). For many years, I’ve kept in touch with this teacher, always stopping by to visit around Christmastime and other points throughout the year. About 3.5 years ago, this teacher suddenly stopped responding to my emails. My emails were always very pleasant, and I never showed that I was hurt by a lack of response. I just gave him a happy little update, asked how he was doing, and said that I would love to treat him to lunch so we can catch up – things like that. He still teaches at the same elementary school, but lives alone, never married or had children, so I can’t see how he is just too busy to respond. We never had a falling out or disagreement, and for the life of me, I don’t understand why he won’t respond. The only thing I can possibly think of is that I didn’t invite him to my wedding 4 years ago (it was a small wedding, my parents were paying).

Is there anything that I can do about this?? Send a holiday card? Tell him it hurts not to hear from him? This hurts me more than any kind of ghosting has hurt me in the past. I have frequently dreams in which I’m trying to get his attention, but he won’t talk to me, and I wonder how much I can trust anyone again when the person who I thought was basically family and who made me who I am stopped responding out of the blue.

Any suggestions are much appreciated.

• This topic was modified 6 years ago by Charlie.