Dear Cw:

I don’t know if he indeed turned cold to you at first, at least. Maybe he was busy, didn’t call you as much one day, you perceived it was because he didn’t care to when he was only busy. Maybe then you expressed your anger at him, and as a result he really did turn cold. This is a possibility and from reading your original post I have no way of knowing the reality of your relationship.

Feeling like you are “a toy to kill time when he’s free” is not an acceptable way to experience a relationship. Whether in his mind you are a toy, I don’t know.

If you block him you will be making a clear move toward ending the communication with him. I suppose it will make you feel better, relieved. But it will end the communication.

Talking about communication, reads to me that it would be a good idea to improve that part in that relationship and in any one to come, to ask and listen, to share and have him listen. That way you can learn what the other person’s motivations are, what he is thinking and feeling. You can get that information if the two of you are honest with each other and if the two  of you feel safe and comfortable to share with the other honestly and openly.

anita

Hi Cw,

Can you simply “Unfriend” him instead of block? This is what I did with FaceBook: Instead of blocking, which can be seen as very immature and reactionary, I wrote a note saying, “I’m taking a break from Social Media. See you in (insert month/year)!” Then I locked down my settings so he couldn’t see how many Friends I had, what I posted, if I posted, etc. I changed my settings dramatically enough so it really looked like I was out of commission.

Then guess what? He DID somehow find a way to contact me. It wasn’t easy. There was effort, true effort (on his part) involved. Then I took several weeks to reply.

Change the script. You can close the door but not lock it. Close the door. And let him go through the butler.

Good Luck!

Inky

Hi cw,

There is a quote I like to use because it is so true, and that is “if you don’t know where you stand with someone, it’s time to stop standing and walk away”.  You need a drama free relationship. One where you “just know” no uncertainties, doubt, “will he call” “should I wait” ” what should I do, he is being flaky”. Etc. This is too complicated. He is not there for you, and if you continue, you will make yourself even more uncertain, doubtful, anxious, and miserable. This does not show promise. I do not feel he is wanting to invest in a commuted relationship at this time, and before you get hurt anymore, it may be time to go your separate ways and find a loving, stable man you are certain of, where you feel safe, loved and secure. x

Hi cw,

I hope this will help. These words that you wrote in your post should not be in the context of any relationship that is safe, loving, secure, happy and fulfilled..thus, I would close the door on this: Here are the words in your posts that indicate a toxic or future potential harmful relationship.

“Uncertain”

“I blocked him”

“Not sure what to do”

“I have no idea what to respond”

“He failed to prove it”

“I’m afraid of getting hurt” (of him hurting me)

“”I’m tired of him” ( disappointing me, etc)

If this were a healthy relationship, none of these doubts, uncertainties, fears, anxieties, would be occurring. x

Hi cw,

Good for you, for standing up for yourself. He took the cowards way out, then blamed you for it. I’m so glad you have decided to end things with him. You deserve so much better. He can’t give what he is unable. All he is able to do at this time is to go on Social media apps and flirt around. Nothing serious. You want someone who is local, not into the internet, chat boards, social media, dating apps all the time as that is a form of escape, not someone wanting a relationship. I know God has good plans for you in store including love. x