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Forward Progress in Love Relationships

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  • #177623
    Mary Ellen
    Participant

    Hi Everyone!

    I wanted to see if anyone had any advice to further my progress in attracting a second half of my life partner that consists of a healthy, loving relationship.

    I am in my 50’s and lost my husband 7 years ago.  We were high school sweethearts so I really didn’t have any dating experience.  I have gone through my trials and tribulations in the dating world and have learned so much.   I have repeated some of the same mistakes over and over but finally feel like I’m headed on the right path.   In the last seven years, I have had to really focus on love of self through self care and take time to learn who I am and what I want in life and a relationship.  Something that you learn when you are much younger through the dating process and life lessons.  So through a gratitude journal, yoga and meditation, I am growing.  I recently rejoined Match.com to get myself out there again believing I’m in a better place.  I have had little response.  So my question is, what more should I do to raise my frequency in the world to bring in the sort of man I want to share my second half of life with?  I’m much happier than I have been since my husband’s death but I would still like to share my life with for the second half of my life.  Any thoughts?  Maybe I’m trying too hard and blocking any vibration that could lead me to the right man?

    Thanks for your input!

    TtownMary

     

     

    #177645
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Mary Ellen:

    The problem is that you got very little response on Match. com, correct? If this is the problem, the responses or lack of are based on your profile and photo there, and so, would you like to share about your profile, how long it is, what it says?

    Also: are you actively reading and responding to men’s profiles? How long are your responses and what do you communicate in those?

    You can, if you’d like, copy and paste your profile and an example of a response (personal details edited out, of course).

    anita

    #177655
    Inky
    Participant

    Hi Mary Ellen,

    It’s funny that we women try to find love through gratitude journals, yoga, meditation and raising our vibration… Then we go on Match… and the guy looks at our photo and goes, “Nope! I’m fifty but this twenty year old looks good!” (He of course, also gets rejected, but that’s the male story). You could try Our Time, which is like Match for the over fifty age range.

    When my mom found love again in her fifties she found it with a guy that she used to know. Go through your old yearbooks and social media. Find the guys you knew back in the day that are widowed and divorced. That is the easiest way.

    Best,

    Inky

    #177657
    Mary Ellen
    Participant

    Thank you for your responses!  Inky the last man I went out with was someone that I knew from the past, ten years younger but I made the mistake of thinking I knew him until I really got to know him.  Ugh!  Age wasn’t the issue but my idea of who I thought he was.  Anyway, I get what you are saying.

    Anita, below is my profile.  I wrote some of it and a friend of mine tweaked it.

    I am full of life and want to find someone to enjoy it with. I am fun, hard working, romantic, affectionate, trustworthy, caring and looking for the same. I enjoy watching sports, watching Oklahoma thunderstorms, movies and traveling. I love a night out on the town and quiet evenings at home. I’m from a big family which has taught me to have fun, love and not take life for granted. I’m ready to experience new things and start some adventures with someone special.

    And get this!  Yesterday after I wrote this to you guys, I have two men who want to ask me out.  LOL   Not from Match though, through a mutual friend.  Funny how things work, huh?

    Mary Ellen

    #177663
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Mary Ellen:

    My input on your profile: too positive. If I was reading this profile of a potential partner, I would think to myself: I can’t keep up with someone who is “full of life… (someone) fun, hard working, romantic…(someone ready) to start some adventures with someone special”- I am not that full of life, not that fun, not that romantic, not that adventurous. I couldn’t keep up with a woman like this… I am not that special.

    If you really are that high energy, that positive, that adventurous on a regular basis and you are looking for a man who is also that high energy, that positive, that adventurous- then there is a small chance that such a man exists. I don’t know of any such person personally.

    anita

    #177669
    Mary Ellen
    Participant

    That’s a really good point Anita.  I will rework it and bring it to a more “real” level.

    Thank you so much for your input!!

    Mary Ellen

     

     

    #177673
    Anonymous
    Guest

    You are welcome, Mary Ellen. Post anytime.

    anita

    #177675
    Inky
    Participant

    I would put down “Athletic and toned”, “open to new adventures” and a teasing “Come and find me!”… and that’s about it!!  (to match an actual dating service ad with “Kourtney’s” description! They did the marketing, and it must work as even *I* want to date “Kourtney”!!)

    Let me watch the ad again, and I’ll type back anything else “Kourtney” put!!

    This is fun!!

    #177677
    Inky
    Participant

    OK, here’s more:

    1. Pics include: beach, somewhere in Tibet, cross country skiing

    2. “If I’m not travelling or working you can find me… at the beach!” (last part said in a cutesy tone)

    3. “I’m not into playing games and like nice guys”

    4. Colors (to match blonde hair and blue eyes): Black top and black hat default outfit. Pink shirt (no hat) if at the beach. Red hat and black outfit if skiing.

    That, my friend, will give you responses. Guys won’t think you’re copying the ad  if they’ve seen the ad. They would, however, have comforting feelings of deja vu.

    Inky

     

    • This reply was modified 7 years, 1 month ago by Inky.
    #177685
    Mary Ellen
    Participant

    LOL, @IevenwanttodateKourtney

    Thank you for all your input Inky!!  You gave me some great suggestions.

    Mary Ellen

     

    #177703
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Hi Mary Ellen

    Check out some professionally written profiles on http://www.e-cyerano.com and http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/online-dating-tips-advice/well-written-online-dating-profile-matters/ This team gets great results and even if you don’t want to use there services, you’ll get great ideas from the samples. Professional but natural photos don’t hurt either. Most (good) men over 50 want an attractive woman (and yes many want younger) who is low drama, sexy, happy, and fun. They fear prior bad relationship baggage (yet often have not resolved their own 😉 , needy/clingy, high maintenance, man bashing and lack of appreciation. Of course as we age the available pool of great men is smaller, but don’t lose heart! Get out there and have fun doing things you love that men also love (sporting events, golf, church, local or charity events, and other things relevant to your area). Smile and stay open to conversation without worrying about how you look or getting a date. Watch non-verbals and don’t waste anytime on a man not showing interest or kindness. Best of luck!

    #177743
    Mary Ellen
    Participant

    Thank you A4U, that is great advice!!

     

    Mary Ellen

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