Dear Peter:

Peter, Oct 19, 2016: “What is this thing we call Love, and If we were to love ourselves unconditionally, what would it look like?… When we love others as ourselves, we say YES to who we and they are… for the most part we don’t really know how to love ourselves very well?”

Oct 27, 2016: “I have often found myself stuck in my stuckness… similar to being depressed about being depressed, stuck in a loop that kept feeding itself. Truth be told, there is a part of me that is comfortable with the familiarity of my stuckness as it can feel like a safe place to be.”

Nov 3, 2016: “I am reminded of a story of a sparrow trapped in an empty grain silo frontally seeking out each ray of light that appeared through various cracks in the wall only to find they were not big enough to get through. Defeated the sparrow lays exhausted on the floor failing to notice the dark tunnel that if traveled would take it under the wall and out of the silo.”

Nov 4, 2025: “The Lord’s Prayer, in its ancient rhythm, asks to be delivered from evil. But I’ve long felt that what it also asks is to be delivered from fear. For it is fear that distorts love, that clouds vision… Fear is the first contraction. Before there is violence, there is fear. Before there is judgment, there is fear. Before there is control, there is fear.”

Dec 11, 2025: “A ‘virgin birth’ was what happens whenever something new emerges without my effort, without my striving, without my fingerprints all over it. It’s the moment when I stop forcing and something unexpected, undeserved, and quietly luminous appears. It’s the wrapped gift under the tree, something I didn’t earn, didn’t orchestrate, didn’t even know to ask for.

“It’s the possibility that arrives unannounced, the insight that wasn’t wrestled into existence, the grace that shows up before I’ve proven myself worthy of it. It’s the way life keeps offering beginnings that don’t depend on my mastery, only on my openness.

“Even in my writing, I’ve noticed that when I stop trying to make things happen, thoughts come together on their own. Sometimes they surprise me. It feels like something new can arise without effort, a kind of inner ‘birth’ that happens when I’m not forcing anything. That’s helped me trust what’s already true in me.”.

Anita, Dec 11 (before reading the your recent post quoted above: “Shh… Peter: You are good! You’ve always been good! I KNOW it!… Still, the image of a boy (Peter) and a girl (Anita) and anyone running freely across a green field with us… Rest in being GOOD. A singular letter fewer than GOD, yet it makes all the difference.”

Back to your words above, “For the most part we don’t really know how to love ourselves…Truth be told, there is a part of me that is comfortable with the familiarity of my stuckness”-

My stuckness, for more than half a century, has been that prison I was in, a prison for people who are not allowed to love themselves (by their own sense of right and wrong) because how can a good person love a bad or a person unworthy of love?. (.. I was good-enough of a person to not love someone undeserving of love.. lol)

Non-duality does not replace or substitute the real need of a person- in real-life, as in the reality of being human- to be labeled “good” by one own self. So to deserve love, so to be offered loved by the self.

Thank you for your kind words in the first 2 paragraphs of your recent post.

May you and I embody love for ourselves and for each other as we happily run on green fields, unstuck, and may others join us

Anita

Dear Alessa:

Thank you for posting the story’s themes and for introducing to me the term Cheng 🙏 🌸 🩵

A little processing & meditating on it: In Daoism (or Taoism), the Dao is the natural order of the universe — the way things flow when they’re in harmony. It’s not something you control; it’s something you align with, like a river: you can fight the current, or you can move with it.

Daoists believe that when your mind is completely sincere and unified (Chéng), you stop resisting the natural flow. No fear, no greed, no doubt — just pure focus. This sincerity is powerful because it removes inner conflict. You’re not split between “should I?” and “shouldn’t I?” — you’re fully present.

When you align with the Dao, you tap into a larger energy than your own. Instead of forcing things, you move with the natural rhythm, which makes actions feel effortless yet powerful. This can bring clarity (seeing the right path clearly) or strength (doing things you didn’t think possible).

Daoist thought teaches that true sincerity clears away inner noise, allowing you to merge with the natural flow of life. In that state, you gain strength and clarity not because you force it, but because the universe itself supports you.

In Chinese philosophy, Chéng (诚) means true sincerity — being completely genuine, without deceit or inner conflict. It’s more than honesty; it’s a state where your heart, mind, and actions are perfectly aligned with truth and the natural order (the Dao).

In Daoist stories (like Shang Qiukai), sincerity is so strong it can transcend ordinary limits, because the universe “responds” to pure, undivided intent.

Confucians say without sincerity, virtue is fake. True virtue must be rooted in sincerity of heart. Imagine someone promising to help a friend: if they say it but secretly resent it → not sincere. If they truly mean it, feel it, and act on it wholeheartedly → Chéng.

Daoism adds: when you reach this state of sincerity, you’re not just being moral — you’re flowing with the Dao, and that flow itself empowers you.

In short: Chéng (诚) is sincerity as total authenticity — the unity of heart, mind, and action. In Confucianism, it’s the root of morality; in Daoism, it’s the key to aligning with the Dao and unlocking hidden strength.

🤍 Anita

Hi Dear Peter:

“Anita, no need for apologies…”- Thank you, Peter.

“What strikes me, though, is that sometimes the analysis seems to keep you-us circling in the past rather than moving forward. I recognize that may be a projection of a pattern I notice in myself.”-

At this point in my life, in these days, my analyses (helped by Copilot) help me move forward. Thing is (perhaps you don’t know it about me), I have learning disabilities, so I repeat analyses because I forget and need to refresh, not that I am stuck but rather.. I forget and need a lot of repetition. So, it’s not overthinking for me.. It’s forgetting and having to re-think. Think from the beginning.

Sincerely, Peter, mentally, emotionally, relationally, I am doing a whole lot better than I ever did.

“I wonder what it might feel like for you to pick one of your own realization, maybe about goodness, or about love arising when we stop forcing, and simply rest in it, trusting it as truth that doesn’t need reinforcing with analysis or justification. Perhaps that could be a way to step into the freedom you already glimpse.”-

Well, it happened today in the “Real Spirituality” thread. Following the submission of the post there, I did rest in what I expressed there, I trusted in the truth I expressed there and I had let it go. I wasn’t even afraid.

“This, to me, is how I imagine Flow.. much like the Tao, moving not by effort but by trust in what already is.”- The Flow is difficult for me because of the Tourette tics which involve bodily tension and holding my breath with every tic. I read that although I can’t aim at stopping the tics, I can change my relationship to them. Let them Flow, instead of resisting them.. Practice Tic Tao (TT), lol.

🤍 Anita

Dear Peter:

You are inviting me to pick one truth I believe (like “I am good”), stop re‑checking it, and let it live inside me without effort.

What’s been in my way is another belief: that my mother was good, and since she told me I was bad, she must be right. That message was drilled into me for decades, and I still find myself pulled back into seeing her as good, which automatically means I am bad. It’s like old pathways in my brain that keep re‑activating.

Yet I wonder now, following your invitation0: what if I build a new pathway that doesn’t depend on her at all? One that simply says “I am good,” without needing to see her in any particular way. A truth that is mine alone, one that’s not dependent on seeing her any which way?

The last three words in your post were “living more freely.” Maybe this is my way of stepping into what you call Flow—or Presence—by letting “I am good” live in me freely, without needing her permission, and discovering how that truth can carry me forward.

I’d be curious to read how this idea of separating my goodness from her image resonates with you, since you’ve been exploring Flow in your own way.

🤍 Anita

Dear Roberta:

“What do you believe good is? & how do you manifest it?”- Good is first Do-No-Harm, and second, to Help people who need help. And to help in ways that don’t harm.

For example, my mother helped me shower and dress me even when I was a teenager. It was Harmful Help (HH), the kind of help I so wish I never received because it squashed my autonomy and shamed me.

Another example of HH: in these forums, with the intent to help (and to please myself because I enjoy analyzing people), I have analyzed OPs who didn’t ask for my analyses, and I have no doubt that sometimes my analyses harmed people, at least, made them feel uncomfortable, intruded upon.

Manifesting good has to involve awareness and honest self reflection in regard to what it is that motivates me, what I need, and what the other person needs.

“Does drawing/painting & or physically writing with a pen help?”- it used to, very much so. I hardly ever write and I haven’t drawn or painted for years and years.

“For me visualization & mantra are a good medium to counteract negativity that arises in my mind & helps me move forward in a positive way.”- I use your GRACE mantra every single day, in a paraphrased, shortened form. Thank you, Roberta!

Best wishes back to you, Anita

Hi again, Peter:

As I was preparing to leave, after reading your recent 2 posts, it occurred to me what I think you mean: that all past efforts on your part to earn self worth (including being “good”) failed and now, what is working for you is the non-effort way, to connect with your Tao essence that requires you to NOT try anything anymore, just.. sort of melt into what you are beyond efforts, labels, etc. Did I understand correctly?

Anita