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(I’m not sure what happened to the post I was just typing… I wrote something quite long and then it did not post. Oh well, I guess I’d have to write it again. But that would be just a chance for me to make it more concise.)
I was reflecting on your point about feeling isolated when you know a lot about something and people around you know less about that thing.
I can see what you mean, but I realized another angle to it. It could be that whenever I feel like people just won’t get me, or I have any judgment on their limited worldview, then that could mean I also have a limited worldview in that sense. I am simply projecting it onto them. I am angry that I can’t relate with them and so I assume that my mind is too deep for my own good and people don’t understand me. I can blame them all I want, but then it wouldn’t get anywhere.
Instead, I would have to see the lack on my side, not in a way that handicaps me (such as giving me a label like “social anxiety” or “being on a different wavelength”) but in a way where I try to see what gap of knowledge I may have in comparison to them (seeing it this way is more fixable than simply resigning myself to different wavelengths). I might have said in my other posts that my mom bores me because she seems to have a lack of opinion, that she doesn’t think in a philosophical or analytical way, like I do. But my own lack is about the news, current events, and a few political issues. Or knowing about the family. I may say right now that I am bored with them, but I noticed a pattern. I get bored about things I am not good at. I think most people do. And I also noticed, once I get past a certain threshold of knowledge about a topic, I get more and more interested, way beyond what I first expected.
It’s like with watching a series. I may have a certain bias about it before watching, whenever I “feel like I won’t like it as much.” but then I get surprised when I watch more and more of it and start to understand where it’s coming from. I think “there must be some reason these people like it!” and I get curious about that. Curiosity in this case becomes the fuel for my enjoyment on things that I normally wouldn’t enjoy on my own. From a simple curiosity, it turns into like, and then once I get deeper into the series, I become so invested that I may get mildly obsessed.
Familiarity breeds fondness.
Well, I know there’s an opposite adage that says familiarity breeds contempt, but it seems as if all adages have their opposite counterpart. I saw a list of it in one of my textbooks.
In conclusion, I guess having more knowledge may have some isolating aspects, but I think it connects in other ways. Maybe it isolates when all I ever pursue in my knowledge are about those “tried and tested favorites” that I have. I deepen my understanding about something so much that I yearn for someone out there to match my level…
But then it’s connecting in that film used to be my weakness. Not too long ago, I’d hear people talk about their favorite movies and series and feel so bad about not knowing anything. They are not even film addicts, they’re just regular people and enjoy it casually. Now that I’ve become so interested in it, that aspect became much easier for me. It didn’t matter as much if the other person was not as obsessed as I was. There was always something they know that I don’t know… Being obsessed merely even helps that process, because I become less discriminating about things and want to see more and more
I wonder if this might be a little dangerous for my mental health. “Obsession” led me to write several posts at once and now I am embarrassed -_-
Oh, please do email me about your learning socio, anthro, and psych đ
And I also didn’t imply that you implied other people were lesser because they had limited worldviews/experiences/interests :)) But since we were talking about eclecticness, that usually does mean that we know a lot more about a particular field than those people. Sometimes it feels lonely because I have favorite, obscure musicians or bands for example, and most people do not know them. However, since I am very attracted to obscure things like that, I realized how much I simply loved to learn. I like those obscure things because they were new to me (not because I was trying to be a hipster. A hipster wouldn’t feel sad that other people don’t know about what they know, because they’re the exact opposite. haha) and they make me feel things that are so interesting and stimulating to me! And it’s also true that I get that feeling when I learn something new. So instead of being sad that they don’t know or like what my favorite is, I try to learn about theirs, if there is any that I am not as familiar with. It actually happens more easily than I expect, that I end up seeing their perspective about the things they like. My mom for example does not think philosophically but that does not mean we can’t connect on a deeper level. I’d work to fill in those gaps rather than try to change her. I noticed her thinking is more practical, which is honestly my weakness as well. I should try to align myself so that I can be compatible with basically all wavelengths! Why am I not interested with practical matters? Well, that’s because I did not expose myself enough. From experience, I am surprised to find that it’s actually easier to adapt to others than the other way around (after all, if I am the one who perceives a lack or a yearning, and not the other person, then I am the only one who can fix it). Hmm, what I’m trying to say is that I don’t have to settle or give up right away. That I’m actually more interested in more things than I am aware at this moment. I just need to “awaken” some of them, and thus get surprised that I’ve come to be obsessed about certain things! (Actually it does seem quite common, funny and ironic that those who become obsessed about something were those who used to be from an opposite camp!) I’m pretty sure we can connect deeper than I initially assumed. I just have to make some effort.
In doing all this, I become even MORE eclectic. That I can connect to almost everyone because I’m interested in almost anything.
That’s my ultimate goal, anyways… đHaha, anyway I’ll go back to talking about film categories soon. One by one, I’ll mention some of them later.
When you said the “feel” of it I thought of an older film called “Joe Versus The Volcano.” It wasn’t received well by critics and true it has flaws and can be downright silly sometimes but the core message is lovely and very meaningful. In fact I think the message is the star of the movie and overpowers everything…the acting, the comedy, the romance, the story.
Watching it is like looking into a snowglobe of something that is happening somewhere else and for a while you feel better. It’s kinda like Joe looking at his lamp in the movie, without giving away too much of the story.
Another great film is Amelie. I love that one but to find these stories you really do have to look to books and films.
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