Dear S:

I want to understand your mind and life a bit better, that’s why I ask (and you are welcome to not answer my questions if you prefer not to): you wrote that you live “a very fulfilling life“- can you elaborate on it?

Also, regarding the many hobbies that you enjoy, what are they?

anita

Dear S:

“I’m extremely content and happy with my life“- I am not extremely content and happy with my life and I don’t know anyone who is. I don’t think that I read from anyone in these forums stating anything this positive in over 6 years of my daily participation here. I think that if you elaborate on this one sentence, it will give me great insight into the topic of your thread. Will you elaborate on it?

(I will be away from the computer for an hour or two).

anita

Dear S:

It’s okay, you don’t have to elaborate on anything you don’t feel like elaborating on, or that you can’t elaborate on. My best guess as to why you why didn’t want to pursue college, and/ or aim at a more demanding and higher paying job than your current, is your fear of failure, fear of not performing well-enough.

I think that you’ve been living a simpler life, a least demanding life, because it makes it possible for you to be the least anxious, and that suits you. It “feels impossible to pick a career path” because a career path is more demanding and stressful than just a job. You want to keep your life simple with minimal stress, and a career path is stressful. Is my understanding good-enough?

anita

Dear S:

Keeping life simple is not a bad idea, this is what I try to do with my life: keeping it as simple as possible. But I am much older than you. At 26, maybe you need Simple, buy also Exciting, because too simple, for too long gets boring, doesn’t it?

I wonder if you can choose a certain kind of school or work-related training that suits you, that which is not be too stressful and overwhelming for you…

anita

There were many years that I could’ve written almost every word and feeling you wrote. And there are plenty of others, too, who could have and could now.

If you’re not good at what you enjoy, get better. Put more of yourself into it. Hone it. Breathe it. Sleep it. Everyone gets better with dedicated practice (except me and math, lol). So maybe you get better in yoga but not extraordinary–good for you! you improved!–yet you get so good in painting that friends want some of your work hanging on their walls.

You clearly show desire to be part of something creative, and a theme in large part seems spiritual. You might never be happy or content with a typical job but bills need to be paid, so perhaps consider an online or otherwise certification or training in something that doesn’t demand too much to get.

Coming to terms with reality and your own creative nature is hard. A lot of people like you don’t try to find a career, as you put it. They work at jobs, complain about them from time to time, while they are busy fulfilling their soul all the other hours in a day.

Do you think you should have a career, or think having one will make the next forty years easier, or…….?

If you know having a career outside anything that involves your interests will not satisfy you, I don’t see it as wrong to accept that, and know life might or might not be a little rockier b/c of it. We are who we are. Only you can decide what’s most important for you: Jobs vs. a “typical” career path.

There are so very many opportunities for creative people out there now–that didn’t exist years ago! Explore. Research. Talk to people who are doing it well. Talk to people who failed, too, to learn from them. Who can succeed without failing first? Failing is a great teacher! And facing our fears gives us incredible freedom!

On my end of it, I used to feel terribly restless most of the time, regardless how satisfied I was; my mother would say it was “the nature of the beast.” I still get restless, so maybe she was right, but I realized I’m a “sampler.” Don’t know if that’s a real thing, but that’s what it feels like to me. It’s who I am. I’ve sampled A LOT of life that for certain I wouldn’t have if I’d forced myself to do what I thought I should years ago.

Some people can end up having “it all” but usually it seems most everything in life is a trade-off, big or small, in the beginning or at the end.

Best wishes in your journey, traveler. Hugs.

(Recall Tolkien’s quote: Not all who wander are lost. You’re wandering now, but not lost—-you are searching for something/have a goal/examining yourself/etc.)