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feeling the need to prove myself to others

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  • #154842
    Hamza
    Participant

    I personally know that I am unique and interesting. I think I have achieved enough in my life and through in my interactions, that I am smart and an interesting person and I have no doubt on it as others feel it as well. But for some reason I feel the need to constantly prove it to others, Although I know if I have self-worth then irrespective of me proving that im worthy to others, I must feel that self-worth but that is not the case. For example, If I am sitting with my friends, I will constantly try to make them feel that I am up to their mark, even though I think I am better than them, but still in that group I constantly feel the need to prove myself, mostly because they all are a group of intellects and they do not consider me as worthy as themselves, and I think as long as I am proving it to them, I am okay or else, they would still think I am inferior. Another example is in my relationship, My girlfriend has a really high self-esteem, she is a single-child, born and bred to know that she is unique and she is entitled to things and she gets unfair with alot of them but that isnt the important, whats important is that she acts and behave like she is great. So, as her boyfriend, I constantly feel the need to prove her that I am worthy of being in a relationship with her, Although I personally know that I am better than her, just like I know that I am better than my friends. By better, I mean that whichever things my friends discuss, I have a better grasp at that topic than them, and whatever my girlfriend does to satisfy me, I do it better to her. If it helps, I am currently 21 and in the final year of college.

    #154896
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Hamza:

    It is very difficult to interact with people who you believe think of you as less worthy than they are, friends and girlfriend. I doubt the quality of friendship and relationship when you are treated as inferior, or you believe that you are.

    This is an important point to look into: do your friends and girlfriend treat you as inferior or might it be that you inaccurately perceive them treating you as inferior to them?

    anita

    #154892
    Tari
    Participant

    I think you’re perfectly fine just the way you are and you dont have to prove yourself to others…. Remember actions speak louder than words.

     

    You need to understand you dont need validation from others, you need it from yourself.

     

    Just love yourself and sometimes its okay to belittle yourself, it shows you’re humble.

    #155338
    Eliana
    Participant

    Hi Hamza,

    I feel each of us are unique. We all have many things we can offer. I don’t believe one person “is better” than another. God made us all equal, he does not make junk. If you are in your head all the time thinking you are better than your girlfriend, your friends, you are not enjoying the present moment, because you are preocupied about being better, or proving yourself. I think, next time you go out with your friends, enjoy the moment. Don’t get inside your head. Enjoy the conversation, don’t judge it, or them. Have fun, laugh. When the thoughts go back to “I’m better then they are” distract yourself and get back in the present moment of enjoying their company. Enjoy the fact, that you have wonderful friends and a girlfriend to do things with, when so many people don’t.

    #155482
    Artlover
    Participant

    Remember that attachment is the root of all suffering and that there are plenty of fish in the sea. You are still young enough to find more and not get caught up on one particular person. Focus more on loving yourself and being the kind of person that you would be happy with and then you’ll effortlessly attract the right people into your lives. Don’t be a slave to other people’s opinions.

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