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Feeling selfish for things that aren't selfish? What do I do?

HomeForumsEmotional MasteryFeeling selfish for things that aren't selfish? What do I do?

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  • #90204
    Ilana
    Participant

    Sometimes I feel like I may be the only one who feels this way, but I am constantly feeling selfish and guilty for common, everyday things. Sometimes I feel it more than others, and currently the feeling is strong. It’s hard to explain, but basically I feel selfish and self-centered for things like buying myself snacks, getting my eyebrows done, buying clothes, etc (the list is long). Partially is because I know other people around the world can not have these opportunities, but sometimes the feeling of selfishness goes beyond material possessions. If I feel happy about something, I for some reason feel like I don’t deserve to feel happy about it. When I do my makeup or hair I feel selfish for working on myself. It has gotten to the point where when I am doing homework, I feel selfish for putting so much work into benefitting myself. When I go out to eat with friends, I feel selfish for buying myself food that isn’t needed. And despite myself feeling these ways, I don’t see others as selfish for doing the same things. I only see it as selfish when I do these things. These feelings have been going on for months and this is the first time putting them into words, so I’m sorry if Im not clear enough in explaining. But it’s starting to affect my state of mind because for some reason I have twisted everything I enjoy into something that makes me feel selfish. I basically feel selfish for doing anything that makes me happy or benefits myself and I don’t know what to do about it. To emphasize how strange this selfish feeling is, I basically sometimes feel selfish for walking to class because I am benefitting myself by walking. Whats wrong with me? Why do I feel selfish for doing anything that benefits myself?

    #90218
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear llana:

    When did this start? What is the earliest memory of thinking and feeling this way??? When, where did it start?
    anita

    #90297
    who
    Participant

    To: llana

    I to have a few questions to ask you, just for clarification.

    1) When you are buying snacks, food, getting dolled up, and buying clothes, with your peers, are they of the less fortunate?
    Meaning your peers?

    2) And when in school, are you going beyond your way because you are smart and want good grades?
    Or are you doing so, in order to stand out, bragging rights? etc.

    To me I don’t think anything is wrong with you for spending money or keeping up with yourself! There’s nothing wrong with having money or being wealthy if you are truly humble about it.
    And going the extra mile in school is great! you are doing your best in order to achieve what you want out of life!

    words for thought: maybe to not feel the way you do meaning (selfish) how about helping someone out, maybe a peer in class not doing so good in a subject. Or giving back to the lesser of people who don’t have much! Maybe some charity work for a cause that you have interest in.. Around this time of the year, there are many charity events and things going on. look online.

    But I really feel that maybe you feel this way (selfish) because you do have a gentle heart! and maybe it’s telling you something.
    Hope all is well.
    THANKS FOR YOUR POSTING! and hope to hear from you soon..peace!

    • This reply was modified 8 years, 10 months ago by who.
    • This reply was modified 8 years, 10 months ago by who.
    #90300
    who
    Participant

    Oh! one last thing, Or maybe you feel this way because in your past you could of been all about self. And now you feel guilty about doing normal things! (your conscious).
    I don’t know, but hope any of this helps!

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