Hi, I’m in the same situation like you. It’s been four years since I graduated, but I work at restaurant because I could not find a decent job. There are so many people tell me do this or do that they all make me feel low and that’s why most of the time I feel lack of motivation or feel like I am getting old or my friends are more successful and they are married etc. But still there is a hope that one day every thing will be fine and keep on trying and have positive thinking.

Hi Wilson,

First off, please know that you are not alone in feeling what you feel.

I understand what you mean when you say you have no real internal motivation to do anything for yourself. You feel like you have to be driven by external factors, to do what is expected of you, so that you can earn approval and therefore feel better about yourself. For eg: you feel like you MUST accept your parents’ pressure and MUST act on it and therefore you SHOULD BE trying harder – and then you can’t find the motivation within – so you JUDGE yourself and think of yourself in a negative light. You feel like you are letting opportunities go by, opportunities that other people have taken, and then you berate yourself even more. You are comparing yourself to others – other colleagues, friends – and wondering why your life is not like theirs. Even though you’ve made the effort, you haven’t landed up in the same place as them.

You start off saying “I’m 28 and still living with my parents.” As though living with your parents at age 28 is a ‘bad’ or ‘wrong’ thing. if you look below the surface, you’ll find that that is another one of society’s expectations and judgement. Society expects you to live on your own by a certain age, and if you are not then it labels you as ‘bad’ or ‘failure’ or whatever other silly label it uses. The same goes for marriage. Everyone around you is married, and parents and society EXPECTS you to be married to – and when you are not, you feel that expectation and judge yourself for your ‘failure.’

When you really sit down to think about it – our entire lives are lived in order to meet the expectations of everyone around us.

And when that starts to feel overwhelming, just STOP and ask yourself these things:

1. What do I expect of myself? Remember, leave behind what parents, friends, boss, society, college etc etc expect you to become. Ask yourself – how can you be better today than you were yesterday?

2. What works for me?
There is no ‘right’ and ‘wrong’ there is only ‘what works for you’ and ‘what doesn’t work.’ All the other rules laid down are irrelevant. Use your intuition, your feelings, to help you answer this one. When you are going about your day, right from making coffee in the morning to working on an excel sheet to eating dinner – pay attention to how you feel. You’ll discover that there are so many little things in a day that make you feel good, make you feel nice.

Please also read this : http://www.lifebuzz.com/just-stop/

Remember, at the end of the day, it is YOUR life. You get to choose what to put in, what to take out.

ACE I . I found your ideas really interesting. You want bond with your pets, you want to travel, want to read, you have so much to do in your life. Why are you concerned about the critics? The best way to avoid critics is to shut their mouth by your great actions. Do prove yourself, that you are not doing something wrong, it just that your idea of doing something is different.

If you read the link given by TheAwakening, Its a brilliant compilation of thoughts. Please go through it once again and Lets talk about these thoughts applicable in your case. If you feel people are criticizing you for no reason, then you should follow #1. Stop spending time with the wrong people.
If you think “Others assert their power and limit our choices on purpose.” then #10. Stop exclusively looking to others for happiness. No one can define or decide the purpose of your life. Its you who have to decide and device. Your life cant be decided by others, but they do judge you. The one who is your real well-wisher will judge you and give you a fair opinion to improve yourself. And the one who will only judge you to pull you down are just the hurdles of your way to make you more strong.

Expectations are never-ending phenomena. Never try to fulfill everybody’e expectations. #27. Stop trying to be everything to everyone. You cant satisfy everybody.#29. Stop focusing on what you don’t want to happen. and #23. Stop trying to make things perfect.

Look for real motivation in life and go for it. It can take time, that doesn’t mean you are not right. Try to find out time for yourself and decide what actually inspire you? what gives you happiness? What do you want from your life? All these questions can take time, but that’s absolutely fine. If you are doing so , you are on a right direction.

Last but the most important thing, open up yourself. Go out, make friends and most importantly “express” yourself. Expression cleanse your mind and soul and make room for new ideas and thoughts. If you keep expressing your feelings, your mind will always be unloaded from burden of thoughts.. and you will find yourself light and a easy goer.

This is your LIFE no one else can decide about it. You will have to live it as per your aspirations. Reality is really beautiful, there is a need of slight adjustment of the perspective to look at it.. Give it a try, and life is yours!!

Wilson before 3 years i was in same situation but I made a choice any work even it is small or big I will do with complete love and passion and perfection, by god grace i got a nice job and three years i spent on developing skills which we IT professionals require.
Stop comparing your self with all negative its not late. Just find what you love and for which thing your passion leads you. concentrate as much on your self so you won’t get time to think negative or what others are thinking or saying. Once loose the fear and live life without limit parameters. Those parameters set by society. Stop counting time and years just enjoy the single day beauty first.