If I was your girlfriend I’d be more horrified by you cutting yourself than giving some stranger a sloppy drunken kiss! Seriously.

I think you’ve done all you could. Blame it on the Spirit of Alcohol. Why do you think they call it “spirits”? Because alcohol makes you say and do things you would never do! I truly believe it is spirits, and not “you” at all! Ever gone into a bar or a liquor store and felt that “Ewg” feeling? I can’t go to those places without it being like a sock in the gut. By the way I do intuitive work of all kinds and let’s just leave it at that.

If you must tell your girlfriend, do so and tell her you’re swearing off alcohol for the rest of your life. If you don’t want to do that, then don’t burden her.

• This reply was modified 10 years, 2 months ago by Inky.

I don’t know if you should tell her, i’m not so good with relations to know what’s best.

But just like Inky and Jeena, i’m also concerned about the cutting.
I’m wondering, if this is the first time that this happened?
And what do you think of it yourself, what the causes are why it happened?

I’m glad to read, that you do realise that feeling guilty and blaming yourself, are not helping you at all, and that they are the problem.
It’s important to work on those feelings and on these negative reactions towards yourself, because they might not go away by themselves. It can be easy to get into the habit of keep doing the same, which is not going to be good for you, so please look for ways to work on it now, instead of letting it build up more and more.
Because, between the lines, i think i read that you have a low self-esteem, do you find that the case?

Hi John,
I understand the awful feeling of regret. It can really eat at you, physically. In Terms of your actions why don’t you ask: How will this benefit her? The reason I ask this is because you are so morally aware of your actions which is why I don’t think you need to go further with hurting yourself. I don’t support dishonesty but I can’t bell
But wonder how this would benefit anyone at this point. My response would be different if you were ony asking how to cover it up instead of your feelings as evidenced. You know what you did wrong so have to let it go. from what you describe- a kiss- seems like you’d scare her more than what really happened (sex etc). She wouldn’t see your emotional admission and hurt as you’ve expressed herE- just the admission of kiss. Be mindful of alcohol and give yourself a break. Dare I say it, might be blessing in disguise as you see how important she is to you but also that you have to consider sobriety and maybe some help for the cutting.

Dear John, first of all I agree with inky that it is more horrifying that you cut yourself than kissed someone else, and I’m sure your girlfriend would think so too! Please do not ever harm yourself again.
I understand you feel very guilty but realize that nobody is perfect. Everybody makes mistakes. You do, I do, your girlfriend does, everybody. If everyone was perfect life would be pretty boring!
You didn’t intend to hurt your girlfriend, you were a little drunk and slipped up. It’s not the end of the world… forgive yourself.
By forgiving yourself you might think “oh well if I forgive myself for this, that means I’m condoning this bad behavior”… not true.
It shows more strength to forgive than to hold a grudge and keep beating yourself up about this. Try to accept the fact that you made a mistake, it’s okay to feel bad about it for a little, but learn to let it go and be grateful.
Hope this helped.