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Feeling ashamed and not being able to forgive myself.

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  • August 27, 2014 at 8:17 pm #64032
    Krista Jennings
    Participant

    Harmony, first of all you are one brave woman. God Bless you! I think that taking steps each day to forgive yourself is important. I usually first start with gratitude. I know sometimes gratitude can highlight the disconnect between where you want to be and where you are but it sheds some light and perspective. Be good to yourself. You are the center of your own happiness and strive for a healthy and wholesome relationship with yourself.

    August 28, 2014 at 5:15 am #64047
    Inky
    Participant

    I would give serious thought to getting an annulment or divorce. I understand on some level that if you knew how sick he was in the beginning, that could be a deal breaker ~ and that is why he lied through omission. But by him doing that he made your decision for you/took away your true decision. And no intimacy? Please don’t beat yourself up for YOU lying to him. I agree that it was a response to unrelenting stress. And if you divorce, don’t consider it a failure. Just a lesson learned that you really, REALLY have to know someone and be on the same page to consider marriage. I wish your husband health, and you happiness!!

    August 28, 2014 at 2:20 pm #64062
    Harmony
    Participant

    Thank you everyone for your support and thoughtful words/wisdom. Sorry I don’t know how to reply to individual comments.

    @Krista     Jennings – Your words “gratitude can highlight the disconnect between where you want to be and where you are but it sheds some light and perspective” touched my heart.


    @Inky     – My situation was blurred to me by my guilt of lying. Seeing and understanding from a strangers perspective had shed some light. You are right about the deal breaker. And I thank you for understanding that “was a response to unrelenting stress”. I was scared to write on this forum thinking that maybe people will think I am hiding or using his health to hide my imperfections.


    @MP     – Thank you for guiding me to this site that made me understand myself a little better.

    September 6, 2014 at 6:01 pm #64488
    BenzRabbit
    Participant

    Hi Harmony,

    Inky is right – considering your circumstances you can easily get an annulment.

    The issues that came up at the beginning of your marriage are not small issues !

    Sometimes, things are just not meant to be and it is better to be in no relationship than in a bad one !!

    Please don’t beat yourself up – stressful situations will make us do things we normally would not do.

    God bless !

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