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Fear of proposing

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  • January 31, 2017 at 12:55 am #126451
    Roshan Rangwani
    Participant

    I am confused whether to go for proposal or not? I am having fear if i propose i may loose friendship too with her? How to deal with it? Any blogs which can help me out of this?

    January 31, 2017 at 6:26 am #126457
    Jennifer Boyatt
    Participant

    Dear roshrang,

    I have a HUGE amount of respect for men and what they have to go through to put themselves out there for the woman that they love.

    Having said that–now I don’t know your entire situation, such as how long you have known her–so I may be way off base. But my opinion is that if you don’t know how she will answer your proposal, then it is not time to make one. When proposals are made, usually the couple have already begun talking about their future and life together. The proposal is not a total surprise, and is just a lovely celebration of love.

    It is a big leap to go from friendship to a lifetime partnership commitment. Perhaps start simpler? Keep it simple and tell her the truth. Say, “I value your friendship and I want to keep your friendship no matter what. But I also like you as more than friends and would like to grow our relationship romantically. Is that all right with you?” If she says no, then leave it at that, and be a friend. She’ll probably feel complimented even if she says no. If she says, yes, then you two have a long journey of work and joy in building a love relationship before you get to the part about the proposal.

    I wish you the best.
    ~Jennifer

    January 31, 2017 at 7:21 am #126459
    Inky
    Participant

    Hi roshrang,

    I agree that if you’re not fairly certain she’d say yes, then you should WAIT.

    But reading between the lines, it seems like you have a lovely relationship where more things are left unsaid than said, and therein is where the magic lies.

    I would drop a few major and minor hints this year so she can gracefully tell you “no” in so many words (or “YES”!) if you know what I mean.

    Like, “Do you want to be asked an important question before or after the holidays?” If she smiles, blushes, and acts coy and purrs, “What KIND of a question??” your answer is YES.

    But if she grows flustered and stammers while looking for the nearest exit the answer is NO.

    A simple, “So, what’s your ring size?” could do it.

    Good Luck!

    Inky

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