Dear Allumena
I have also been affected by anger in my childhood. I remember being scared of feeling hurt, fearing criticism and judgement. What helped me to begin with was my education. My focus was on becoming financially independent to begin with. It was after a stabilization of financial freedom that I could turn inwards and move towards better emotional health.
Looking back I wish things were different but that does not give me any gains. Today I make the best use of whatever I have.
Looking back the anger may or may not have been justified. But I know now that it had nothing to do with me. Anger was about the issues that the person exhibiting anger had. I didn’t have the maturity to see it like that in that time. With expression of anger, I used to think that I was at fault in some way. This led to a long period of a feeling of unworthiness.
I hope you don’t have to go through your suffering in a way similar to mine. You have found this site. Try and make the best use of it. Post on different issues that you find difficult to deal with. Be aware of the thoughts that are pulling you down. Remember that you are worthy whatever it is. don’t let anyone make you feel otherwise. Don’t let what has happened in the past hold you down. Don’t live on in a dream from the past and hoping for the same now. Rather look at your present and see how best you can handle it and move forward.
Anytime that I am able to retrace my journey of healing from anger and find something that I found useful, I will share it here with you.
Take care.