After having been depressed for so many years and wanting to feel miserable, I had only gone out with men that would bring me just that. But recently, I had been doing a lot of work on myself and finally decided that I was going to feel good about myself and only be with a man that treated me well. Once I made that decision, I met this guy through Tinder. He organized the first date and it was amazing. He told me that his goal in life was happiness, which is also mine. The men I usually hang out with would find my goal stupid and irrelevant. So not only was I extremely attracted to him (which rarely happens), he got me hocked.

I organized the second date. We did a brunch and I mentioned that I love ocean views. After that, he decided to show me an ocean view that was breathtaking. We spent the whole afternoon together and he mentioned that he doesn’t have a relationship with his father. For me, I could totally relate because I don’t have one with my Mom. Usually, I am not allowed to talk about it because it is very hard to grasp not having a loving mother which defies reason. Even more amazing, is that he was in touch with his emotions. That day, he dropped me at my place and kissed me. I felt electricity go through my whole body and that night, I didn’t sleep. I was so excited with emotions and happiness. The days following, I was so happy, I couldn’t sleep, eat, he was on my mind 24/7. I was lovesick.

Since I wasn’t getting any news from him, I decided to organize the third date. This one, I went in a negative mindset. Right before the date, I was with my psychologist and doubting that I was seeing the relationship for what it truly was. I have a tendency of making assholes look like caring men. So when I saw him, I was in a bad mood and doubting about his kindness. But somehow, he told me the most weird stories that were too hilarious. It was so bizarre but that’s exactly the stories that I love, that are true representations of awkward moments in life. We then went to his office to get his stuff. He had notes on his wall about self-improvements he wanted to make. I do the exact same thing in my room and couldn’t like him more. Event though I live 3 blocks from his office, he wanted to walk me home. When we kissed, again it was just crazy like I had never experienced before. The world just stopping. I withdrew of the kiss first and observed him for 5 seconds with his eyes closed being still like he was still paralyzed by the intensity of the kiss. It was to die for.

Today was supposed to be our 4th date. Without any news from him, I contacted him. He told me that there was some unresolved business with his ex and that he might have to contact me in a couple of weeks. I told him that I understood and that it was amazing to meet him and that he made me feel things that I had never felt before. He told me he also really liked meeting me and ended that he wished me luck in my job search and that he’s sure I’ll do great whatever I do.

Does this mean that for him, it’s over permanently? To find a man that is 100% a match happens only two or three times in a lifetime. I don’t want to lose him. I will leave him some space but how long before I can contact him again? I don’t know how I should play this. FYI, this happened within 3 weeks.

Thanks for your help.