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Everything was perfect then he backed off

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Viewing 4 posts - 1 through 4 (of 4 total)
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  • August 1, 2016 at 1:45 am #111154
    XenopusTex
    Participant

    Hmm… Tinder? Um. I don’t think that has the greatest reputation.

    My two cents is that it’s over and done with. I learned the hard way that the “I’m not ready for a relationship” or “I’m getting over my ex” basically boil down to a no, it’s not going anywhere.

    Happiness isn’t really a “goal.” It’s more of a vague general statement.

    August 1, 2016 at 2:15 am #111155
    Miniature Bodhisattva
    Participant

    I’m sorry, but I’m going to agree with XenopusTex. The fact he has “unresolved business with his ex” and that he liked meeting you are things somebody writes when they’re trying to let somebody down gently. (Which is very kind of him – some people aren’t that considerate.)

    It is rare to meet somebody who is compatible with you, but not as rare as you think. If there’s one thing I’ve learned living on this planet for so many years is there are many people who we can be happy with.

    You mentioned it had been awhile since you dated, so it’s understandable that this match had extra intensity for you, which makes it more of a challenge to let it go. Take comfort in the fact that all the hard personal work did bear fruit and you were able to attract a nice fella. And if you did it once, you can certainly do it again!

    I would however advise you to take a breather to grieve the loss and examined what you learned from the experience.

    Best of luck to you!

    August 1, 2016 at 4:17 am #111158
    Inky
    Participant

    Hi adriannalc,

    I went “Uh-oh” when I read “Tinder”. That’s like trying to meet a neuro-surgeon at the local bar. Sure, you’ll meet “doctors” but not the real deal.

    The other time I went “Uh-oh” is you contacting him to go on most of the dates. I dated someone like that. I felt like the man in the relationship! I dropped the rope and he complained that I never called him (after running into him, he would never actually pick up the phone).

    And lastly, yes, at least he let you down gently. And there may not even be an ex. If he doesn’t contact you after a couple weeks that’s it then. He ended it with saying HE *MIGHT* have to contact you in a couple weeks. The ball is in his court. Let it lay there.

    Best,

    Inky

    August 1, 2016 at 5:27 am #111159
    Laura
    Participant

    Thanks XenopusTex, Miniature Bodhisattva and Inky. Now I know I just have to move on.

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