Dear kp1193:

I understand your difficulty, throughout the two year relationship, to tell John that you don’t find him physically attractive. A statement like that is a big blow to the male ego, can be a crushing blow. So you didn’t tell him. But he knew something was wrong: “He told me he always knew I was hesitant but instead he chose to ignore it as well.”

It would have been a good thing if either one of you brought the issue up- you both knew. It is possible that the mere communication about the issue would have brought you closer together, physically.

But none of you brought it up until the lease needed to be renewed. Not throughout the two years and living together for one year, I think I read. The actual HIDING of your lack of attraction to him maintained the lack of attraction. The early revealing it to him could have changed that.

Is it too late now? Is it too late to reveal your feelings to him, and for him to reveal his feelings (how he felt about the hesitancy he perceived in your behavior)?How about revealing it all- showing each other more, all, now- that may be stimulate a desire to reveal yourself to him sexually, as well (Over time, through ongoing communication, being open to the possibility that the open communication may or may not bring about the physical openness).

Consider this: it may have been the excruciating living with the conflict created by hiding your feelings that maintained the lack of physical attraction.

anita

Hi kp1193
After reading your post all I can say is that
I truly believe that when it doesn’t work out with someone in the present, it is because it is meant to work out with someone else in the future. But what I wanted to explain you is that you can’t leave it all up to fate. There’s work to be done on your part too. Each relationship that comes in your life is the universe’s way of delivering a lesson for you to learn. If you don’t learn that lesson and evolve, you will only face the same issues with each relationship moving forward. If you want to avoid a lifetime of dating the wrong men,as you mentioned you have already dated and are even scared of dating another wrong men. So before dating anyone or even if you guys start living in together BEFORE THAT You have to be conscious of the old wounds you need to heal and take action to stop destructive habits and patterns. After all, you have to be the “right one” until you will meet the “right one”.

And You can also read this as this might just help you to avoid situations which cause relationships to break.

http://www.magicalvibe.com/is-ranveer-singh-deepika-padukone-called-it-quits-why-our-modern-relationships-falling-apart/

Hope this help
Mishika 🙂

• This reply was modified 8 years, 5 months ago by Mishika.