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Dooped?

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  • October 12, 2017 at 8:39 am #172851
    Moon
    Participant

    About three years ago my girlfriend had a booty visit with her deceased husbands best friend.  She seems to enjoy the novelty but twice has told him she wants more than just a booty visit.  Emails explicitly connote sexual contact.  Emails say he loves her and vice versa.  She did sneak out one morning while I was in class at local college.  Sexual explicit emails continued until I proposed in sept 2016.  Got married last year in December.  Since August 24 2016 I know of no email communication.  Last week he tried to text her  with a simple how are you doing.  Note on text said he was not in her contact list.  Did she delete his information?  He is married and is ten years younger.  What a deal?  I do love her but she still violated trust st and the no sharing rule. What do I do?  Thanks.  My first post.

    October 12, 2017 at 9:33 am #172897
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Moon:

    I don’t understand the technology involved, that is, if she deleted his information or not. (If she promised you that she would delete his information and then did not keep her promise, I understand your concern). The question is did she keep her promises to you in regard to this man.

    anita

    October 12, 2017 at 12:21 pm #172911
    Michael
    Participant

    Wait? So you said that “sexually explicit emails continued until I proposed in September” correct – does that mean you were dating and she was still sending and receiving sexually explicit messages with someone else??

    October 12, 2017 at 1:34 pm #172937
    Highway Hanna
    Participant

    It’s duped, not dooped, just a head’s up.

    October 12, 2017 at 2:19 pm #172945
    Moon
    Participant

    We never discussed deletion.  It wasn’t until this latest text msg from him dis I notice his name wasn’t in her phone.  So she deleted him very late in the game. She did have a turtle in the hay in 2014.  So much for trust and not sharing.  She does not know that I am aware of her cheating.

    October 12, 2017 at 2:32 pm #172951
    Moon
    Participant

    I don’t think she cares about what could happen after her escapades.  She has told him in she wants more out of a relationship.  Should I tell her I know she cheated?

    October 13, 2017 at 4:22 am #172989
    Inky
    Participant

    Hi Moon,

    I guess I’m confused by the timing as well.

    This is my understanding:

    Her husband died and she was getting all this attention from his best friend. She wanted more out of the casual relationship, which is totally understandable given they had known each other for a long time. You came on the scene or she was just dating you. The guy didn’t take your presence seriously until you proposed. She keeps living an occasional double life.

    For some reason you propose and marry her. I don’t know why you did that but you did. I suggest you hit “RESET” in your brain and forgive her for her past before the wedding, for your own sanity.

    It looks like she did delete him from her contacts which is actually good news. He contacted her to send out feelers on how your marriage is doing.

    Monitor that phone, dude.

    Best,

    Inky

    October 13, 2017 at 4:50 am #172991
    Moon
    Participant

    Thanks for the reply.  Didn’t have full knowledge of all that took place prior to marriage.  It was of late I found all just how extensive the extracurricular activities were.  She says she loves me.  She also says she doesn’t need me.  Everything she needs she has.  More later.

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