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dont remain friends with the ex!

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Viewing 6 posts - 1 through 6 (of 6 total)
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  • September 23, 2015 at 6:46 pm #83985
    jheel
    Participant

    Lesson learnt the hard way: dont be friends with your ex.
    I met this guy at work some 2 years ago. We started dating and 6 months into the relationship, he proposed to me. After meeting the parents, our horoscopes were checked but didnt match. And the guy and his family refused to go ahead with the relationship. But the guy said we could remain friends. Well this was more than friendship. We used to meet and talk everyday. Everything seemed to be so fine.
    Fast forward to last week: he announced to me that he is getting married next year.
    I learnt from a friend at work that he is getting married to one of our collegues!!!!

    I do realise that I should not have remained friends with the ex. But at the same time, I feel so cheated on. Not only he lied to me, but he also dated the other collegue without me knowing anything!

    I stopped talking to him, but this hasnt made any difference to him. He is happy and has already moved on in his life. I know I should do the same, but it just hurts to see them together.

    September 23, 2015 at 7:57 pm #83986
    TriangleSun
    Participant

    Your horoscopes didn’t align? Don’t you think this is strange? This reads like he and his family is a nut basket and you should be happy that you’re not a part of it. This guy also seems to be in a hurry to get married. Honestly, you should be happy that this clown didn’t workout. I’m sorry but the horoscope thing had me cracking up. I can’t believe some people…

    Don’t sweat it. Don’t date coworkers and like you just said yourself don’t have friendships with exs. 99% of the time it only lasts until one person either finds someone else or leaves because they’re hurting.

    September 23, 2015 at 8:36 pm #83987
    Pearl
    Participant

    Hey there!! I have heard something similar in the past 🙂 All I can say is – it hurts only if you love him more than yourself 🙂 🙂 You love yourself more than the need of the relationship or to keep him into your life! I have been there before, believe me – once you learn the lesson and empower yourself 🙂 you will attract only the best of people in your life 🙂 so take it from there and I would also suggest start doing something which you really enjoy doing! Dancing or painting 🙂 get back on track and finally be professional at work! You are there to make a career and tell yourself you deserve the best! Next time, don’t give too much 🙂 and don’t lose yourself in a relationship – this is what I learnt from my relationships that didn’t work! Hope this helps!!take care

    September 23, 2015 at 10:52 pm #83993
    jheel
    Participant

    Yes, the horoscope thing is really strange, I was even wondering if that was the real reason of the break up. But anyways, what’s the use of doing all this thinking when the guy himself doesn’t want you.. the real pain now is to see him and his new love everyday at work.

    September 24, 2015 at 4:50 am #84005
    Inky
    Participant

    Hi jheel,

    Are you guys Indian?? Then I can kind of see the astrology thing. But that seems so backwards. If you truly, TRULY believe in that, then the family should have hired a matchmaker who ONLY introduced “compatible” people to him, and he should never have dated anyone with that potential “dealbreaker” in the background. You can’t have it both ways with living as modern people AND sticking to traditions 100%.

    Listen, this frees you up to be with a modern man with a brain who’s not into doing everything his parents say.

    But on another note, yes, I was “friends” with an ex. I just conveniently never contacted him or gave him any new contact info!! LOL! He did track me down and we would communicate once a decade or so. Then he desperately wanted to FB Friend me. I eventually gave in. Wouldn’t you know it, now he’s getting married! Now he’s “Hidden” so I don’t see that nonsense at all!

    September 24, 2015 at 7:58 pm #84066
    jheel
    Participant

    Yes Inky, you are totally right, person cannot be modern and still follow 100% tradition even if it means disrespecting other person’s feelings.
    It’s as if following traditions justifies hurting another person.

    And yes, I remained friends with him,, thinking tthis will soften the blow of the break up. But it did much worse now that I need to see him everyday with another person.

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