Hi Freya, I know how you are feeling, and I know  the drastic change in your life after having kids.  Just know you are not alone. Having kids is hard, beeing a good parent is hard. But it gets better I promise. I think you already did the first step in changing your life, you realised that you need a change. Take time for yourself, think what you need and do that for yourself. start small, 15 min a day of your own time, and then 20, 30 and so on, as circumstances allow. If you look you will recognise a knowing look among parents with young children, we all feel the same, you are member of a tired, bored, exsausted parent club, and it is ok, it is a cool club. Kids change your rythm but not the way you live your life, you choose that… hope this helps. Been there…sorry for the spelling English is not my first language.

Freya let me give you tips on this…I’m mum of 2, stay at home mum. And I feel exactly the same, only I was stay at home mum of 10 years. I finished my law degree, got pregnant, had kids and I feel like my life as if ended 10y ago. What’s more I’m so not confident and anxious to go back to work although I want to. I can’t even begin to explain how dead I have been feeling the past decade. I literally have dreams of going to work. So do not become like me and here are some tips on what I would change, could I turn back the time.
1, don’t become stay at home mum…ever. 2, don’t just become mum, and nothing else. 3, get that sitter and go out (make kids realise that that’s how things are, it will become a norm). 4, go on holidays without hubby and kids sometime (or a spa day trip). 5, ask for help when you need one. 6, keep in mind kids need you for few years…don’t miss those precious years, at age 8-10 they won’t be interested in chatting/playing/cuddling as much. Xx keep strong

Or at least get a smaller place that would be closer to work… 1 hr to 1:20 commute is unsustainable with your schedule and your responsibility’s… being the stay home mom will add tension to the finances and as Jana expressed… staying home brings it own set of complications… but if you could save an hour or teo each day from commuting… that could have a huge impact of the quality of your available time..

Good Luck, and Let us know how it goes…

Mark