Home→Forums→Relationships→Don't blame please I m with married man
- This topic has 119 replies, 5 voices, and was last updated 6 years, 4 months ago by
Anonymous.
-
AuthorPosts
-
December 21, 2018 at 7:37 pm #270373
EliParticipantDear Anita thank you so much I will do it and I will remember this always and forever you are right so I will not more sad because she said no second meeting so now I feel better i do right thing thanks dear Anita I am waiting for you again here
December 22, 2018 at 6:34 am #270403
AnonymousGuestDear Eli:
You are welcome!
I am glad this man said “no second meeting”. If he wanted a second meeting, I hope you would tell him: “no second meeting”!
You are a person first, a person with feelings, with hopes and dreams, and you need, most importantly, to be valued a nd respected, not to used as a sexual object!
I can’t think of a greater need, once you are fed and sheltered enough, than to be valued and respected. It is good guideline when figuring out what relationships in your life to keep and what to end: if a person disrespects you, end that relationship, be it a beginning relationship (this man you just had a date with) or a relationship you had all your life (your mother).
All you need is one person who values you, to start. I value you. Even though all you see are these typed words on your computer screen, there is a person who is typing these words, and this person values you.
anita
December 22, 2018 at 8:28 am #270419
MarkParticipantEli,
You are seeing someone who lies to his wife and others, someone who has cheated on his wife before, someone who does not seem to care about his children/family.
Check you own personal values and see if you wish to continue in that relationship for you are complicit in helping to create that.
It is easier to decide on expediency rather than morals and values. It will be good to get clear on what are yours so you can better informed decisions on your life in general.
Mark
December 22, 2018 at 10:25 am #270441EliParticipantDear Anita
Thank you so much I am so happy you and other dears listening and guiding me . Thank you .
The married man said what do you want I said reall family marriege one man for myself peace real love safe future. He said Okey go and find like regret donkey you will come back to me it’s only me love you know you care about you even your own family don’t care about you(he knows about my family an dmy mother relationship) . He said you will see no body will treat you like me .
And dear Anita you are right I must respect to my self and even respect to his poor wife and kids.
December 22, 2018 at 10:31 am #270443EliParticipantDear mark
He always told me I just cheated on my wife because i don’t love her but if I be with one lady I love her I never cheat on her because so am in love and full (emotional and sextual/)
One time we had big fight and he told me bi..h do you think I leave my kids because of you I leave them for you f….k off.
So now when I look at this relationship I really see how much it was mistake he uses me to save her marriege and play with me give me fake hope and I make stupid dreams for my self like maybe we have our love nest maybe our kid travelling all world our retirement but it was all fake hope and dreams.
It was not truth.
Some truth is so bitter and painful.
Thank you dear mark and dear anita
December 22, 2018 at 10:40 am #270449AnonymousGuestDear Eli:
He told you: “even your own family don’t care about you”- what did he mean by it, do you think?
anita
December 22, 2018 at 11:24 am #270459EliParticipantDear Anita my family live in other state when I met him I left there and come to his state next to him .my family never support me emotionally even financialy and they don’t even ask me why you are going to this new state what are you doing….and because I was so stupid I talked about all the vents with him I was sad and told him no body call me ask about me care about me an she always said never mind I am with you but in fight he use this like big ax to hit in my head and one time he told me you are handyeli Evey body need some help or some thing they contact you
December 22, 2018 at 12:25 pm #270471AnonymousGuestDear Eli:
You shared something personal and painful with him and he used it against you, “like big ax to hit in my head”- this is not a loving act, not a loving man to be doing that. No matter how angry he was, he shouldn’t have used something you shared with him against you, as a weapon, to hurt you.
I didn’t understand what “hadnyeli Every body need some help or some thing they contact you”- can you explain this to me (what is “hadnyeli”?)
I will be away from the computer next and be back in about 18 hours. Please be good and kind to yourself!
anita
December 22, 2018 at 1:54 pm #270479EliParticipantDear Anita thank you please you take care of your self I hope you be fine fine and safe Evey where you are .handy Eli it was the name he called me like nurse home maid waiter for example my friend her baby was in hospital and for 3 nights I Saturday with her baby and all this time he said people just use you Evey time they want ….one other time my friend his and ask me for finish his isi article for one journal and I help him the he told me yah yah handy Eli available Evey where for Evey thing and he always asked me what they give to you what do you achieve who give you medal and be appreciate for this .the other time my mother get I’ll I was in hospital with her for more thank one week and again he blamed me
December 23, 2018 at 4:23 am #270523AnonymousGuestDear Eli:
Thank you for your good wishes for me.
He was angry then, that you helped other people, saying “who give you medal and be appreciated for this”-
I suppose this means that he doesn’t help you for a medal himself, that he makes sure that when he helps another person (ex. give you any money or spends money on you), he gets something tangible, or some physical pleasure in return, not just a “thank you” or other words of appreciation. Do you think it is true to him?
anita
December 23, 2018 at 5:39 am #270531EliParticipantDear Anita well come
Yes I think so today is second day I don’t have any contact with him and it is not easy for me at all.i am thinking go to other city small city work there and be far away from him and all our memories Evey thing is this flat remind me his memories Evey things and I don’t know what to do with them be bought some gold and expensive gifts for me shall I take them back to him ?
What about staff s shall I trow them away?
Our pics letters what about all them?
Anita I don’t know what to do I am lost
December 23, 2018 at 5:51 am #270533AnonymousGuestDear Eli:
If I was you I would burn or throw away all the pictures and letters, and sell the gold and expensive gifts, and use the cash for the move to the other city you plan on moving to.
And then, in the other city, I would start a new life.
anita
December 23, 2018 at 6:07 am #270537EliParticipantDear Anita I was reading all our conversations I am alone at home and I was reading them and feel so good so I will sell expensive gifts as you said trow letters and pictures
And what about cloths shall I trow them aways as well
December 23, 2018 at 6:08 am #270541EliParticipantDear anita
I can not believe I am in this stage of my life for try delete him from all parts of my life .
I hope till the end I be strong like this .
I feel so alone I am crying I miss him I know I don’t have right to miss him I know it’s not true I know but my stupid heart don’t understand
December 23, 2018 at 6:21 am #270543AnonymousGuestDear Eli:
Your heart is not stupid or wise, it just wants to love and be loved, that is the nature of a heart.
Regarding clothes he bought you, you mean? What I would do is sell these clothes if possible, or keep them. If they bother you a lot, then sell them for any price or give them away.
*These clothes and gifts are not … sort of ownership documents. He doesn’t own you. Your value far exceeds the money he spent on these gifts.
anita
-
AuthorPosts
Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's ours. It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine. 