Hello Henry,
My thoughts:
In order to be your best for other people, would it not be good to love yourself first? Focus on yourself, show yourself love, spend time and energy on yourself. That way you can be your best self for others.
E.g. My mum has spent several years putting everyone else first. She’s now exhausted, has no life of her own, is very depressed and lost. She doesn’t know herself as she’s too busy focusing on others. She’s seriously struggling. I wish more than anything she would care about herself and focus on herself. I miss the person she used to be when she had her own life and hobbies — and seeing her joy made me happy, so she is happy and I am happy too.
In answer to your question, personally no I don’t believe so. If someone were to think of me all the time, and put me first all the time, I wouldn’t feel like we had an equal relationship. (It’d make me quite uncomfortable to be honest.) If it were a friend acting this way, they wouldn’t feel like a friend, but more like a servant. Would they tell me about themselves at all? Would I get to know them at all? I want to get to know them, because they’re my friend, but if they’re spending all their time thinking about others then how do they know themselves?
– norit
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